Tonight I was reminded of how I personally attempt to make the world a better place.
I don't march in parades, or volunteer in political causes, or write letters to the editor, although I applaud those who do and respect their passion.
I simply try very hard to role model my values and morals (secular though they may be) to my children, and in doing so, teach them at the core that they have the power to make a difference.
Tonight, we were in one of our favorite thrift stores. We know a number of the employees, one of which always greets us with a big smile, calling us "The Happy Family". Tonight when we said hello, it was abundantly clear that something was amiss. She had a "social" smile on. We stopped and asked her if she really was okay, and the tears began to flow. She wasn't. She was undergoing serious medical testing and so far the results were discouraging.
I offered--and gave--a hug. I asked her if she had a support system in place to help her ,and she said that so far, she hasn't shared the information with her mother or her husband. That is such a terrible burden to carry alone. I gave her my name and phone number and told her that if she needed someone to meet for coffee, call and vent to, or hold her hand at the doctor's office to call me. Will she? I don't know, but how could I not offer?
On the way home, I was talking about this, because Caspian was there to see what happened. I told him, this is how I hope to change the world, with kindness. And if you see it, you will do it too. And if you do, your children will and your children's children. And if enough of us do that, if we model kindness and compassion, if we reach out to those who are in need, it will ripple outwards.
We can't cure the world. There will always be illness, violence, cruelty, and anger. But, I hope, that by raising children who have seen the opposite modeled. my great-great-great granchildren will live in a happier, more peaceful world.
One action at a time.
Friday, April 4, 2014
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Venting
Nothing important here.
Train wreck.
Just keep going, nuthin' to see here, folks.
Tami. Is.In. A. Mood.
Why?
How kind of you to ask. Just what I had hoped you'd say.
1. Had a social gathering yesterday and had this idea in my head what it would be like. What would happen. How it would go. Well . . . let's just say, it didn't go anything like that. At all. It was a stretch for me to organize this, so I most likely set myself up for disappointment.
2. Had a very intense phone interview this morning for what could be a mighty fine, high level writing job. Wanted to sound my best . . . not sure if I did . . . will find out next week if I made it to the "next level of the interview process." Eeek.
3. Had an hour long work review call with a team of colleagues--great people really. Nice, polite, good sense of humor. But, it's still hard when they are pulling apart your words and telling you to redo them, even if they say it very, very nicely.
4. Have to get taxes together for Saturday. I hate taxes more than I hate people who spit. That should tell you how much I hate taxes.
5. I have been given three hours to complete an assignment, i.e. I can BILL for three hours, but that's it, so if it takes longer, so be it. I got the assignment LAST NIGHT. When is it due? TOMORROW.
6. I'm not sleeping well--awakened at least 4 times a night with hot flashes, followed by freezing. I'm like spring weather, always in temperature flux.
7. In a period of 24 hours, I have had to write about erosion and weathering, computer tech courses, poetry, literature, and educational reform. My head hurts from trying to keep it all in there, switching topics and grade levels at the blink of an eye.
8. Meeting someone again today to help with their book . . . I don't mind helping others create their novels, I don't, but when I'm stressed and tired and feel pulled in 16 directions, it is harder to be altruistic and share my time. Does that make me sound like a bitch? I don't mean to. I care about these people and really, if I can help them write their books, I'm glad. But sometimes giving up my time and expertise and suggestions and guidance isn't easy. I don't feel generous. I wanna be selfish. I wanna sit on the couch and read, and take a nap, and watch dumb stuff on TV. Why doesn't anyone PAY me to do those things, she says with a whine. :)
So there you go. Nothing major. Kids good. Really good. Husband good. Weather improving. Health pretty good--diabetes and blood pressure completely under control. Really . . . no room to complain, yet . . . I seem to have found some.
Venting. It's good for the soul.
Train wreck.
Just keep going, nuthin' to see here, folks.
Tami. Is.In. A. Mood.
Why?
How kind of you to ask. Just what I had hoped you'd say.
1. Had a social gathering yesterday and had this idea in my head what it would be like. What would happen. How it would go. Well . . . let's just say, it didn't go anything like that. At all. It was a stretch for me to organize this, so I most likely set myself up for disappointment.
2. Had a very intense phone interview this morning for what could be a mighty fine, high level writing job. Wanted to sound my best . . . not sure if I did . . . will find out next week if I made it to the "next level of the interview process." Eeek.
3. Had an hour long work review call with a team of colleagues--great people really. Nice, polite, good sense of humor. But, it's still hard when they are pulling apart your words and telling you to redo them, even if they say it very, very nicely.
4. Have to get taxes together for Saturday. I hate taxes more than I hate people who spit. That should tell you how much I hate taxes.
5. I have been given three hours to complete an assignment, i.e. I can BILL for three hours, but that's it, so if it takes longer, so be it. I got the assignment LAST NIGHT. When is it due? TOMORROW.
6. I'm not sleeping well--awakened at least 4 times a night with hot flashes, followed by freezing. I'm like spring weather, always in temperature flux.
7. In a period of 24 hours, I have had to write about erosion and weathering, computer tech courses, poetry, literature, and educational reform. My head hurts from trying to keep it all in there, switching topics and grade levels at the blink of an eye.
8. Meeting someone again today to help with their book . . . I don't mind helping others create their novels, I don't, but when I'm stressed and tired and feel pulled in 16 directions, it is harder to be altruistic and share my time. Does that make me sound like a bitch? I don't mean to. I care about these people and really, if I can help them write their books, I'm glad. But sometimes giving up my time and expertise and suggestions and guidance isn't easy. I don't feel generous. I wanna be selfish. I wanna sit on the couch and read, and take a nap, and watch dumb stuff on TV. Why doesn't anyone PAY me to do those things, she says with a whine. :)
So there you go. Nothing major. Kids good. Really good. Husband good. Weather improving. Health pretty good--diabetes and blood pressure completely under control. Really . . . no room to complain, yet . . . I seem to have found some.
Venting. It's good for the soul.
Monday, March 31, 2014
A Day in the Life of a Freelancer
In the past, I have likened a day in my writing life as a pinball in a machine played by a meth-driven Type A Personality. (Over the top a bit? Nah!) Today has been like that, only add some steroids and desperation into the player's personality, and it will be more accurate.
Walk with me, if you will, through my day . . .
I was offered a job with a new company. To first get approved by this company, I had to spend two plus hours writing high level, complex sample items. (Apparently a resume highlighting 350 plus books and 25 years in the educational assessment field just isn't enough proof of skill and experience.) I did them, submitted them, and lo and behold, they accepted me. Prepared to send me a contract. Oh . . .by the way, guess how much they pay per question? .87. Miss that decimal point perhaps? That is EIGHTY SEVEN CENTS per question. My usual rate for this type of question? $10 to $20 each. Yes, that is DOLLARS. So, although I admit math is not my strongest suit, 87 cents seemed just a little LOW. Ha. So no thanks on that one. Would have been nice to know the rates BEFORE the samples, but do companies work that way? Nope.
Next, I was asked to write a few extra chapters for a book about Nascar. Decent rate, quick turn around time, good company. Yes to that one.
Next, I was asked if I could be profiled on a publisher's page as Author of the Month. Public praise? Heck yes. Submitted a couple of pics, a bio, and some links. Easy peasy.
Next, I was offered a couple of college courses to write on either composition or communication. Happy either way. Like the topics, like the work, like the boss. Good to go.
(YES ALL OF THIS HAPPENED TODAY.)
Next, I was told work I did in February was still in the "review" stage, so payment had not been processed and wouldn't likely arrive until . . May. Sigh.
Next, I will be researching material about science for a 4th grade lesson on earth systems. I know nothing now, but will soon. That will be followed up by reading about Mesopotamia for a first grade, yes, first grade, book on the culture.
Oh yes, I have to stop and write six grade 7 items for a company, due in the morning. Then, over to grade 8 items for someone else, due Wednesday.
This is all today. On Friday, I was offered several other jobs, for which I have to apply, submit, wait, and then determine if the rate, turnaround time, and details are decent.
Wonder why I stammer when people say, So, what do you write, Tami?
Walk with me, if you will, through my day . . .
I was offered a job with a new company. To first get approved by this company, I had to spend two plus hours writing high level, complex sample items. (Apparently a resume highlighting 350 plus books and 25 years in the educational assessment field just isn't enough proof of skill and experience.) I did them, submitted them, and lo and behold, they accepted me. Prepared to send me a contract. Oh . . .by the way, guess how much they pay per question? .87. Miss that decimal point perhaps? That is EIGHTY SEVEN CENTS per question. My usual rate for this type of question? $10 to $20 each. Yes, that is DOLLARS. So, although I admit math is not my strongest suit, 87 cents seemed just a little LOW. Ha. So no thanks on that one. Would have been nice to know the rates BEFORE the samples, but do companies work that way? Nope.
Next, I was asked to write a few extra chapters for a book about Nascar. Decent rate, quick turn around time, good company. Yes to that one.
Next, I was asked if I could be profiled on a publisher's page as Author of the Month. Public praise? Heck yes. Submitted a couple of pics, a bio, and some links. Easy peasy.
Next, I was offered a couple of college courses to write on either composition or communication. Happy either way. Like the topics, like the work, like the boss. Good to go.
(YES ALL OF THIS HAPPENED TODAY.)
Next, I was told work I did in February was still in the "review" stage, so payment had not been processed and wouldn't likely arrive until . . May. Sigh.
Next, I will be researching material about science for a 4th grade lesson on earth systems. I know nothing now, but will soon. That will be followed up by reading about Mesopotamia for a first grade, yes, first grade, book on the culture.
Oh yes, I have to stop and write six grade 7 items for a company, due in the morning. Then, over to grade 8 items for someone else, due Wednesday.
This is all today. On Friday, I was offered several other jobs, for which I have to apply, submit, wait, and then determine if the rate, turnaround time, and details are decent.
Wonder why I stammer when people say, So, what do you write, Tami?
Saturday, February 15, 2014
A Family Effort
Sorry I've been gone. Lots of excuses, but why list them? Just go with busy life!
Yesterday something happened that inspired me enough to take a minute. Nicole has been single for quite a while and she has reached an age where she feels it. She is lonely--and she wants to be in love. She wants to be looking into the future with someone. So far, that someone has been more than elusive. She has been on eHarmony and Okay Cupid, and has gone on some dates with nice guys, and boring guys, and odd guys. None of them even close to the right guy.
The other day we were sitting in our favorite coffee shop and there was a very attractive young man sitting there with his laptop. She smiled. He smiled back. I knew there was no way some guy was going to strike up a conversation with a pretty girl sitting with her parents, so Joseph and I left and went elsewhere to open the opportunity. Lo and behold, after a little maneuvering and manipulating on Nicole's sneaky part, a conversation ensued. They exchanged contact info and she left smiling.
Fast forward to the next day. Nicole is off work and feeling sad that it is Valentine's Day and she is single. Her brother Coryn arranged his day to spend the afternoon with her, getting frozen yogurt, taking pictures, and having fun. He's a peach. (Nicole has a "date" with her other brother on Monday to do the same. These boys love their sister.)In the middle of the fun, the new guy texts Nicole. They chat a bit and he ends up asking her out that night to meet up with he and his friends at a restaurant. She calls me excited but in a panic. She is out with Coryn! She doesn't want to end their time together (he is on the other line calling me to tell me to make her go!), and she isn't dressed for a date, and how would she get there and back since we had the car . . . . . This is what happened from there.
Yesterday something happened that inspired me enough to take a minute. Nicole has been single for quite a while and she has reached an age where she feels it. She is lonely--and she wants to be in love. She wants to be looking into the future with someone. So far, that someone has been more than elusive. She has been on eHarmony and Okay Cupid, and has gone on some dates with nice guys, and boring guys, and odd guys. None of them even close to the right guy.
The other day we were sitting in our favorite coffee shop and there was a very attractive young man sitting there with his laptop. She smiled. He smiled back. I knew there was no way some guy was going to strike up a conversation with a pretty girl sitting with her parents, so Joseph and I left and went elsewhere to open the opportunity. Lo and behold, after a little maneuvering and manipulating on Nicole's sneaky part, a conversation ensued. They exchanged contact info and she left smiling.
Fast forward to the next day. Nicole is off work and feeling sad that it is Valentine's Day and she is single. Her brother Coryn arranged his day to spend the afternoon with her, getting frozen yogurt, taking pictures, and having fun. He's a peach. (Nicole has a "date" with her other brother on Monday to do the same. These boys love their sister.)In the middle of the fun, the new guy texts Nicole. They chat a bit and he ends up asking her out that night to meet up with he and his friends at a restaurant. She calls me excited but in a panic. She is out with Coryn! She doesn't want to end their time together (he is on the other line calling me to tell me to make her go!), and she isn't dressed for a date, and how would she get there and back since we had the car . . . . . This is what happened from there.
- Coryn and the rest of us convinced her to not let this opportunity pass her by.
- Joseph and I ended our somewhat romantic Valentine's dinner alone and met the kids downtown. Nicole and I rush shopped for a dress for her to wear. Found one.
- Uh oh. What about shoes? She was still wearing her work shoes since she had come from work. I gave her mine since we wear the same size. This meant I couldn't get out anywhere once we dropped her because I can't wear her work shoes. Ouch.
- We drove across town and dropped her in front of the restaurant. Then we went to a store a few minutes away to wait for her signal of GO, I'm having fun and will Max home or COME and get me, this isn't going well.
In 15 minutes, the phone rang. Come and get me. Why?
Hmmm . . . let's see . . . the guy broke up with his long term girlfriend THREE DAYS ago and "still isn't over it, and may never be." He has NO job and NO place to live and stressed four times he has NO MONEY. He said he wasn't eating because he forgot to bring his anti anxiety meds. He virtually never spoke to Nicole. Didn't stand up when she came in, didn't even wave when she left.
NOT much potential there, wouldn't you agree?
And, knowing she was bummed, we took her to a couple of fun places on the way home and made her laugh a lot.
And when she went to bed that night smiling, I thought two things. First, I was so sorry that another guy turned out to be a mistake, especially considering how much time and effort was put into the date on her part. Second, I was amazingly aware of how loving and tight this family is. No one gave a moment's thought to doing whatever we could to get Nicole to her date and away from it! Her brother, Joseph and I all dropped what we had planned to support her. We did with love and joy and even though it didn't work out, the bottom line was she IS loved. And the right guy is out there and she is one step and one doofus closer to finding him. In the meantime, she is surrounded by people who will not hesitate to help her find that smile at the end of the day.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
You're So Lucky
I remember people saying to my mother, "You're so lucky your house is so clean."
She would roll her eyes and look at me, and we would chuckle. Luck had NOTHING to do with it. My mom worked on her house like some people work on careers, a college degree, a car--in other words, with dedication, passion, determination, and not a little obsession. Our house was always ready for being featured in a spread in a magazine. Honestly, I think my parents went a tad overboard on the whole cleaning issue, BUT the house did look GOOD.
Today, I've been told the same thing.
You're so LUCKY your kids like you so much.
You're so LUCKY your writing career has done so well.
You're so LUCKY you've had such a long and happy marriage.
Okay, I'll give a tiny percentage to just luck, but for the most part, all of these things were achieved through effort, not luck. Nicole, Caspian, and Coryn are good friends and are close to me because of how I have parented them. My writing career has developed and evolved because I WORKED--I wrote for free, met impossible deadlines, networked, pushed, put in 14 hour days, and earned a solid reputation. My marriage? Long talks, lots of touching, laughter, and love, yes--but not luck.
Don't get me wrong--I feel immensely grateful for all of these things. But I also earned them. I didn't get blessed with them out of the blue. They weren't some gift I was given without even having to ask. I am lucky--lucky that I am a determined, passionate, dedicated--and yes, even a little obsessed--woman.
She would roll her eyes and look at me, and we would chuckle. Luck had NOTHING to do with it. My mom worked on her house like some people work on careers, a college degree, a car--in other words, with dedication, passion, determination, and not a little obsession. Our house was always ready for being featured in a spread in a magazine. Honestly, I think my parents went a tad overboard on the whole cleaning issue, BUT the house did look GOOD.
Today, I've been told the same thing.
You're so LUCKY your kids like you so much.
You're so LUCKY your writing career has done so well.
You're so LUCKY you've had such a long and happy marriage.
Okay, I'll give a tiny percentage to just luck, but for the most part, all of these things were achieved through effort, not luck. Nicole, Caspian, and Coryn are good friends and are close to me because of how I have parented them. My writing career has developed and evolved because I WORKED--I wrote for free, met impossible deadlines, networked, pushed, put in 14 hour days, and earned a solid reputation. My marriage? Long talks, lots of touching, laughter, and love, yes--but not luck.
Don't get me wrong--I feel immensely grateful for all of these things. But I also earned them. I didn't get blessed with them out of the blue. They weren't some gift I was given without even having to ask. I am lucky--lucky that I am a determined, passionate, dedicated--and yes, even a little obsessed--woman.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Life . . . Always a Rollercoaster Ride!
Have you ever really thought about how much life is like a roller coaster ride at the fair? I mean . . . it always costs more than you expect it to. Lines are inevitable. You have to stand next to fascinating people, good looking people, less than enjoyable people, and those who forgot how to shower. You sit down and can't help but think you may have put on a few pounds. The music is whatever band you don't like and it's too loud. Still, you're excited. Adventure awaits. You're brave and ready to take whatever is thrown at you.
You start slow and then everything speeds up. There are unexpected drops. Exhilarating rushes. Scary turns. Peaceful pauses. Eventually, there is pride and gratitude for survival.
See? Just like life.
So my ride lately has consisted of . . . the ups and downs of Nicole's dating life. DOWN . . this one was disappointing . . UP . . the next one was handsome and charming . . and hasn't called back yet, so back down we plummet. UP . . . J's eye appointment proved his eyes are fine, just aging like the rest of our bodies . . . DOWN . . . it's winter, his beard is long and damn, I hate it but don't know what to do about it. It's his face . . . . and he accepts everything about me without complaint. . . . UP . . Coryn is home . . . DOWN . . . Caspian is leaving. . . . UP . . my numbers are all great . . . DOWN . . . work is only trickling in and if it doesn't change, the coming months could be beyond challenging.
As in the ride and life, I laugh, I cry, I scream, and I hang on tight to the people closest to me and sharing the ride. I keep riding, because, in the end, if I had to start over, I'd get right back in line.
You start slow and then everything speeds up. There are unexpected drops. Exhilarating rushes. Scary turns. Peaceful pauses. Eventually, there is pride and gratitude for survival.
See? Just like life.
So my ride lately has consisted of . . . the ups and downs of Nicole's dating life. DOWN . . this one was disappointing . . UP . . the next one was handsome and charming . . and hasn't called back yet, so back down we plummet. UP . . . J's eye appointment proved his eyes are fine, just aging like the rest of our bodies . . . DOWN . . . it's winter, his beard is long and damn, I hate it but don't know what to do about it. It's his face . . . . and he accepts everything about me without complaint. . . . UP . . Coryn is home . . . DOWN . . . Caspian is leaving. . . . UP . . my numbers are all great . . . DOWN . . . work is only trickling in and if it doesn't change, the coming months could be beyond challenging.
As in the ride and life, I laugh, I cry, I scream, and I hang on tight to the people closest to me and sharing the ride. I keep riding, because, in the end, if I had to start over, I'd get right back in line.
Monday, January 6, 2014
2014? Really? Wow.
I admit it. The years are starting to run together. 2014 just seems impossible and futuristic. I wasn't used to it being 2013 yet. I think I really stopped being used to the year in 2010.
Life in the Orr house is in the usual state of flux. The holidays were wonderful! Having Coryn home was gift alone. His sharp wit and warm hugs were missed and the house seems so much more complete now that he is here. Gifts--thoughtful, loving gifts--were exchanged. Good food was consumed. Couch potato-ism ensued as we watched movies together in the living room.
New Year's was nice--quiet. Nicole had to work until 10 pm so we were out late getting her. Coryn had gone out of town to an overnight party. Caspian was home with us. We made a late dinner so we could eat with Nicole after she got home. We ate, watched the ball drop, and then went outside to see Portland's usual fireworks. It was incredibly foggy (as it has consistently been this winter) and the fireworks couldn't really be seen. However, you could hear them and then the fog would light up in flashes of red, green, purple--it was actually quite fantastic. We kissed and hugged, and I texted a quick I love you to the boy at a party.
As life returns to "normal", I am looking at my writing schedule and hoping it picks up, although WOW, have I loved the extra time off. I have a list of 14 phone calls I need to make this morning to follow up on various things. We are getting ready for Caspian to leave us now--he leaves in less than a week for his time in New Orleans. He is joining a construction team renovating an apartment complex. As far as I know, all of them are unschoolers, so it should be quite the team. We aren't sure how long he will be gone--it might be a matter of a month--or six. I already miss him.
Nicole continues in her elusive hunt for the right life partner. She told me last night that she blamed Joseph and I for being so picky. "I want what you have," she said, "and that means the bar is set awfully high." I remind her that what Joseph and I have after 31 years is NOT what we had when we first married, but she's right--I was a lucky one and I want her to be just as fortunate.
I'm feeling pretty good--health issues are plaguing others in the family. Coryn is covered in . . . rash? bites? allergic reaction? We don't know. We've tried treating it at home with typical methods but today was my cut off. If it's not substantially better when he gets up this morning, it's off t the doctor. Joseph has a floater and has been having flashes of light in his eye--which can be from age (I had the same thing a 1 1/2 years ago) or could be the first symptoms of a detaching retina, so off to the eye doctor it is. But my BP and sugars are staying down and the weight is s l o w l y dropping--I lost 44 lbs from June to the end of the year. I miss walking and hope to get back to it as soon as possible.
That's the update, guys. Hope all is well in your house, that your holidays were wonderful, and that 2014 (really? wow!) has started out with great hope, potential, and possibility.
Life in the Orr house is in the usual state of flux. The holidays were wonderful! Having Coryn home was gift alone. His sharp wit and warm hugs were missed and the house seems so much more complete now that he is here. Gifts--thoughtful, loving gifts--were exchanged. Good food was consumed. Couch potato-ism ensued as we watched movies together in the living room.
New Year's was nice--quiet. Nicole had to work until 10 pm so we were out late getting her. Coryn had gone out of town to an overnight party. Caspian was home with us. We made a late dinner so we could eat with Nicole after she got home. We ate, watched the ball drop, and then went outside to see Portland's usual fireworks. It was incredibly foggy (as it has consistently been this winter) and the fireworks couldn't really be seen. However, you could hear them and then the fog would light up in flashes of red, green, purple--it was actually quite fantastic. We kissed and hugged, and I texted a quick I love you to the boy at a party.
As life returns to "normal", I am looking at my writing schedule and hoping it picks up, although WOW, have I loved the extra time off. I have a list of 14 phone calls I need to make this morning to follow up on various things. We are getting ready for Caspian to leave us now--he leaves in less than a week for his time in New Orleans. He is joining a construction team renovating an apartment complex. As far as I know, all of them are unschoolers, so it should be quite the team. We aren't sure how long he will be gone--it might be a matter of a month--or six. I already miss him.
Nicole continues in her elusive hunt for the right life partner. She told me last night that she blamed Joseph and I for being so picky. "I want what you have," she said, "and that means the bar is set awfully high." I remind her that what Joseph and I have after 31 years is NOT what we had when we first married, but she's right--I was a lucky one and I want her to be just as fortunate.
I'm feeling pretty good--health issues are plaguing others in the family. Coryn is covered in . . . rash? bites? allergic reaction? We don't know. We've tried treating it at home with typical methods but today was my cut off. If it's not substantially better when he gets up this morning, it's off t the doctor. Joseph has a floater and has been having flashes of light in his eye--which can be from age (I had the same thing a 1 1/2 years ago) or could be the first symptoms of a detaching retina, so off to the eye doctor it is. But my BP and sugars are staying down and the weight is s l o w l y dropping--I lost 44 lbs from June to the end of the year. I miss walking and hope to get back to it as soon as possible.
That's the update, guys. Hope all is well in your house, that your holidays were wonderful, and that 2014 (really? wow!) has started out with great hope, potential, and possibility.
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