Yesterday something happened that inspired me enough to take a minute. Nicole has been single for quite a while and she has reached an age where she feels it. She is lonely--and she wants to be in love. She wants to be looking into the future with someone. So far, that someone has been more than elusive. She has been on eHarmony and Okay Cupid, and has gone on some dates with nice guys, and boring guys, and odd guys. None of them even close to the right guy.
The other day we were sitting in our favorite coffee shop and there was a very attractive young man sitting there with his laptop. She smiled. He smiled back. I knew there was no way some guy was going to strike up a conversation with a pretty girl sitting with her parents, so Joseph and I left and went elsewhere to open the opportunity. Lo and behold, after a little maneuvering and manipulating on Nicole's sneaky part, a conversation ensued. They exchanged contact info and she left smiling.
Fast forward to the next day. Nicole is off work and feeling sad that it is Valentine's Day and she is single. Her brother Coryn arranged his day to spend the afternoon with her, getting frozen yogurt, taking pictures, and having fun. He's a peach. (Nicole has a "date" with her other brother on Monday to do the same. These boys love their sister.)In the middle of the fun, the new guy texts Nicole. They chat a bit and he ends up asking her out that night to meet up with he and his friends at a restaurant. She calls me excited but in a panic. She is out with Coryn! She doesn't want to end their time together (he is on the other line calling me to tell me to make her go!), and she isn't dressed for a date, and how would she get there and back since we had the car . . . . . This is what happened from there.
- Coryn and the rest of us convinced her to not let this opportunity pass her by.
- Joseph and I ended our somewhat romantic Valentine's dinner alone and met the kids downtown. Nicole and I rush shopped for a dress for her to wear. Found one.
- Uh oh. What about shoes? She was still wearing her work shoes since she had come from work. I gave her mine since we wear the same size. This meant I couldn't get out anywhere once we dropped her because I can't wear her work shoes. Ouch.
- We drove across town and dropped her in front of the restaurant. Then we went to a store a few minutes away to wait for her signal of GO, I'm having fun and will Max home or COME and get me, this isn't going well.
In 15 minutes, the phone rang. Come and get me. Why?
Hmmm . . . let's see . . . the guy broke up with his long term girlfriend THREE DAYS ago and "still isn't over it, and may never be." He has NO job and NO place to live and stressed four times he has NO MONEY. He said he wasn't eating because he forgot to bring his anti anxiety meds. He virtually never spoke to Nicole. Didn't stand up when she came in, didn't even wave when she left.
NOT much potential there, wouldn't you agree?
And, knowing she was bummed, we took her to a couple of fun places on the way home and made her laugh a lot.
And when she went to bed that night smiling, I thought two things. First, I was so sorry that another guy turned out to be a mistake, especially considering how much time and effort was put into the date on her part. Second, I was amazingly aware of how loving and tight this family is. No one gave a moment's thought to doing whatever we could to get Nicole to her date and away from it! Her brother, Joseph and I all dropped what we had planned to support her. We did with love and joy and even though it didn't work out, the bottom line was she IS loved. And the right guy is out there and she is one step and one doofus closer to finding him. In the meantime, she is surrounded by people who will not hesitate to help her find that smile at the end of the day.
