Life . . . Always a Rollercoaster Ride!

Have you ever really thought about how much life is like a roller coaster ride at the fair? I mean . . . it always costs more than you expect it to. Lines are inevitable. You have to stand next to fascinating people, good looking people, less than enjoyable people, and those who forgot how to shower. You sit down and can't help but think you may have put on a few pounds. The music is whatever band you don't like and it's too loud. Still, you're excited. Adventure awaits. You're brave and ready to take whatever is thrown at you.

You start slow and then everything speeds up. There are unexpected drops. Exhilarating rushes. Scary turns. Peaceful pauses. Eventually, there is pride and gratitude for survival.

See? Just like life.

So my ride lately has consisted of . . . the ups and downs of Nicole's dating life. DOWN . . this one was disappointing . . UP . . the next one was handsome and charming . . and hasn't called back yet, so back down we plummet. UP . . . J's eye appointment proved his eyes are fine, just aging like the rest of our bodies . . . DOWN . . . it's winter, his beard is long and damn, I hate it but don't know what to do about it. It's his face . . . . and he accepts everything about me without complaint. . . . UP . . Coryn is home . . . DOWN . . . Caspian is leaving.  . . . UP . . my numbers are all great . . . DOWN . . . work is only trickling in and if it doesn't change, the coming months could be beyond challenging.

As in the ride and life, I laugh, I cry, I scream, and I hang on tight to the people closest to me and sharing the ride. I keep riding, because, in the end, if I had to start over, I'd get right back in line.

2014? Really? Wow.

I admit it. The years are starting to run together. 2014 just seems impossible and futuristic. I wasn't used to it being 2013 yet. I think I really stopped being used to the year in 2010.

Life in the Orr house is in the usual state of flux. The holidays were wonderful! Having Coryn home was gift alone. His sharp wit and warm hugs were missed and the house seems so much more complete now that he is here. Gifts--thoughtful, loving gifts--were exchanged. Good food was consumed. Couch potato-ism ensued as we watched movies together in the living room.

New Year's was nice--quiet. Nicole had to work until 10 pm so we were out late getting her. Coryn had gone out of town to an overnight party. Caspian was home with us. We made a late dinner so we could eat with Nicole after she got home. We ate, watched the ball drop, and then went outside to see Portland's usual fireworks. It was incredibly foggy (as it has consistently been this winter) and the fireworks couldn't really be seen. However, you could hear them and then the fog would light up in flashes of red, green, purple--it was actually quite fantastic. We kissed and hugged, and I texted a quick I love you to the boy at a party.

As life returns to "normal", I am looking at my writing schedule and hoping it picks up, although WOW, have I loved the extra time off. I have a list of 14 phone calls I need to make this morning to follow up on various things. We are getting ready for Caspian to leave us now--he leaves in less than a week for his time in New Orleans. He is joining a construction team renovating an apartment complex. As far as I know, all of them are unschoolers, so it should be quite the team. We aren't sure how long he will be gone--it might be a matter of a month--or six. I already miss him.

Nicole continues in her elusive hunt for the right life partner. She told me last night that she blamed Joseph and I for being so picky. "I want what you have," she said, "and that means the bar is set awfully high." I remind her that what Joseph and I have after 31 years is NOT what we had when we first married, but she's right--I was a lucky one and I want her to be just as fortunate.

I'm feeling pretty good--health issues are plaguing others in the family. Coryn is covered in . . . rash? bites? allergic reaction? We don't know. We've tried treating it at home with typical methods but today was my cut off. If it's not substantially better when he gets up this morning, it's off t the doctor. Joseph has a floater and has been having flashes of light in his eye--which can be from age (I had the same thing a 1 1/2 years ago) or could be the first symptoms of a detaching retina, so off to the eye doctor it is. But my BP and sugars are staying down and the weight is s l o w l y dropping--I lost 44 lbs from June to the end of the year. I miss walking and hope to get back to it as soon as possible.

That's the update, guys. Hope all is well in your house, that your holidays were wonderful, and that 2014 (really? wow!) has started out with great hope, potential, and possibility.

Numbers Queen

Yeah baby, I'm the Numbers Queen. I am my new health care provider's "Star Patient."
Why?
Because, in 7 months, I have cut my cholesterol in HALF.
Lost 43 pounds.
Dropped my blood sugar from so high it was not on the charts, to so low it doesn't qualify as even PRE diabetic.
No longer anemic.
No longer low thyroid.
Blood pressure? Still need some meds, but one-EIGHTH of what I was taking before.
The physician's assistant said, I have NEVER had a patient accomplish this before.
After all the hard work, this feels pretty damn good. Like a Christmas present.

On other notes--the traveling boy is HOME AGAIN. So glad to have him back. I go in his room and just smile when I see him sleeping. I forgot how much he made me laugh, how much I enjoyed having him around.
Caspian, will be my next gypsy. He is leaving in three weeks for months in New Orleans, helping a team of young people rebuild an apartment complex in the city. He will be there for Mardi Gras. Oh dear.
The new year is fast approaching. I am not without concerns . . . . have some pretty worrisome issues waiting for my attention whenever I find a second to think about them. But as I face them, I will do it knowing that I am the NUMBERS QUEEN. Yeah, baby.

Just in Case . . . .

 . . .you don't get enough of this Orr's writing, you can read another Orr's writings at this link. http://mymyriadofmosaics.blogspot.com/
Yes, she's wonderful.
Yes, I'm prejudiced.
Yes, I don't care that I'm biased. And proud. And adore every fiber of that girl.

Promise to post soon. Life has been kickin' my butt and I am pulling myself up again. After all, I'm a vampire.
Not sure what that means? Read her blog and you will.

The Holidays are Upon Us

As I post this, it is bitterly cold outside. From inside, it doesn't look like it. The sun is shining and the winds have slowed. Ah, just deception, however. The wind chill is below freezing and will hit single digits tonight. Brrrrr. All the more reason to stay inside where it is warm and I am happy.

My career seems to be in a state of . . .dormancy? . . . right now! Hey, maybe Tami gets her own mid-season hiatus like her favorite TV shows. Ha, never thought of that before.

My assignments have dwindled down to almost nothing, which is a little (Ha, a little) scary. I was hired yesterday by a new company, and I have several jobs pending that will probably kick in after the holidays, but for right now, I have one large project to tie up and then I'm assignment-less. On one hand, I LOVE it. I can spend the holiday season wrapping and napping, reading and watching movies with the family . . . . I certainly relish my time off, but I also know that about February/March, life will be very, very stressful because of this time off.

I've looked into getting a "regular" job, but hesitate to commit to anything. Right now Caspian and Nicole have jobs that they have to get to and from (some are public transportable--some not), Coryn is returning in 11 days (YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!), and there's much to do to prepare for the holiday. I am sending out the gifts I've been accumulating in our bedroom all year for people.  All of our relatives are back in Indiana, so lots of boxes headed back that way. (The post office depends on what I send out each month to pay the electric bill, I think.) I'm putting together the annual holiday letter and sending out cards to people I've worked with this year. I don't know how to fit in a regular job . . and would really prefer not to. I will keep sending out those emails to companies and hope someone says, Wow have I got a great, months-long, high-paying, fascinating-topic, fun-editor, flexible-deadline job for you.

Ha, right. Well at least a combination of two of any of those factors. I can settle for that.

I am planning to post some book reviews/comments, as I haven't done that in ages. Do you keep track of what you read each year? I always start out thinking I will get so much reading done, and, at the end of the year I total the titles up, I am amazed to not hit 50 books. Where, oh where, did the time go?

Hope your house is warm, your hours are busy, your bank accounts are full, your heart is fuller--or at least some combination of these factors!

Finally Back!

Well, that was a ridiculously long absence, and I apologize. I have had many, many beneficial changes since the seizure in May. I have lost 40 lbs., I have drastically changed my diet, I have been exercising regularly for 5 months and even joined a gym. My blood sugar numbers stay pretty perfect.  But . . . I feel different.

I tire easier. I get overwhelmed easier. Is it weird to say I don't feel like quite the same person as I was before? I can't even say I don't like this person, in many ways, better, but there are some things I don't care for as much either. I get angry at my inability to tolerate as much as I used to. I get especially upset at the physical problems I am still dealing with. I mean, HECK, how much more virtuous can I get?! :) (I suppose I could give up coffee, but then I wouldn't want to live anyway . . . just kidding. Sort of. Love my low sugar mochas.) I've had a weird assortment of physical issues in recent weeks and I simply have no patience for any of them. They make me angry.

Sigh.

Other news? Family is doing very well. Nicole has a new job working at the Portland airport and, for the first time, she really, really LIKES her job. No news on the dating front. She is doing National Novel Writing Month for the 7th year in a row. She turned 23 last week--amazing. The age I was when I got married. How did that happen?

Caspian is still working about 20- 25 hours a week at a local brick manufacturing plant. He is thinking about going to Indiana in early 2014 to live with his grandmother for a few months, get a part time job, visit friends and family, and increase his traveling experience. He will be 21 in the spring. Once again, how did that happen?

Coryn has a little less than a month left on his grand travel adventure. We have missed him terribly. He has certainly had some incredible experiences, from learning to live in remote locations, helping to  take care of two very lively, busy little people, driving a quad, and discovering how hot Africa can get to holding an adorable baby monkey, attending a UN floating barge party and meeting a cute Greek girl. He will be home the week before Christmas and we have warned him we will do a great deal of hugging to make up for lost time. In the spring, he will turn 18 and I will officially have all "adult" children. (They've been adults for years in my opinion.)

Joseph is good--having sleep issues, which is lousy for him, and for me, since his disturbances bleed over into mine. We are experimenting with changing sleep schedules to see if we can figure it all out. We celebrated 31 years of marriage at the end of last month. As we so predictably are at that time of the year, we were broke and so did little. We went out to dinner, had some wonderful sangria wine, and had silly pictures taken in a photo booth. I cherish them. And him. And our years together. And the ones to come.

Still writing letters (they are occasionally my personal salvation on a day when I have written assignments all day and want to put words together that are about ME). Still reading when I have a chance. No new glasses yet, sadly. Not in the budget. Think I will ask Santa to bring them. :) Does he have elves who specialize in that kind of thing?

Sorry for the long silence. I should be back more now. It means a lot that people check in, read and I love comments, so feel free to leave them. Thanks all.

A Guest Author?! Really? YES!

Hey almost two dozen followers . . . . sorry for my continued absence. I have tons of excuses but it will boil down to lack of time, as usual. In my stead, however, I'd love to post something my daughter Nicole wrote recently. It touched my heart in many, many ways and I thought it said so many essential things about who we are and who she has become, as a person, an adult, a writer, a daughter, a future wife and mother, that I had to share it. Give it a read. Leave comments if you want. I so enjoy knowing you came by. 

Reviews and Ridicule

I came to a realization recently regarding my own writing.

A few weeks ago, I submitted a piece of my writing to the writing group I am a member of. Now, I had done this several times before and had thought I knew what to expect. They'd always been very good about giving good feedback along with the bad, had always made a point of ending on a positive note. With this in mind, I gave them the longest piece they'd ever looked at and in retrospect; it feels as if they tore it to shreds. It's been weeks since that happened and I've had time to gain distance from it. At the time, however, I found it almost impossible not to take it personally. When an author shares a piece of writing that's a work-in-progress, it's a show of trust. When I had my story ridiculed, torn apart and then given back to me with a "there's nothing to salvage here," I found myself wanting to do nothing more than put my laptop in a box.

I'm done. That's it. I suck. Why keep going?

Because I am stronger than that, I didn't give in. I've pushed and shoved onwards into the next story, next plot, next plot of characters. I've put distance between me and my hurt feelings, but more than that, I think I've realized just why my work was received as it was.

As you likely know from reading my recent post on the Cal Leandros series by Robin Thurman, I am one of her biggest fans. This is due to the bond between her main characters, which are almost always male. Sometimes they're brothers, sometimes they're brothers in all but blood, but they're always incredibly close, yet believable. That's what I've vied for. That's the sort of dynamic I want to insert into my own tales, but according to the reviews I've gotten, I'm somehow missing the mark. When I read a review of Robin Thurman's first book, Nightlife, (I own 13 copies now) I realized why.

I was raised in a rather unusual household. It isn't just that I was unschooled all my life or that both of my parents were atheist. It wasn't just that we were a bunch of hippies, believing in things like home births instead of hospitals, breastfeeding instead of formula, family beds instead of cribs. It wasn't even that we visited nudist resorts or that we changed diets as often as most people washed their hair. No. What made my household weird and unlike that of any of my friends was the LOVE and our ability to share it.

My parents have never yelled in anger, not at each other or at their kids. Throughout my childhood and then my teens, my parents are known to kiss, grope, fondle, tickle and even (GASP) play footsy under the table at meals. Many people reading this may frown on their doing this in view of their children, but to us, it was normal. It was our parent’s way of modeling what love was supposed to look like. And no, they didn't just do this at home. Out at restaurants, my dad would hold the door open for my mom as much as he would kiss her as she walked through. Walking into one of our billion favorite coffee shops, my mom would share the newspaper with my dad as much as she'd rest her leg on his knee while they read them. These aren't inappropriate acts. They're signs of love. It only seems weird because they're showing them to the world. Shouldn't we smile at the sight rather than remark "get a room?"

At this point, you might already think my family bizarre. Stick with me though. I do fully intend to swing this topic back to writing fiction and the epiphany I had regarding my own works.

A lot of people look at my parents PDA (public displays of affection) as odd, but they're a married couple of 31 years. It's unusual, but my dad dipping my mom in the middle of the library to kiss her for no reason other than he felt like it, is STILL romantic, even if startling to some. They're married. They're supposed to be close.

What people can't wrap their heads around is the idea of siblings being close. So what if my brothers and I hug each other after being gone all day, visiting with friends? So what if my 20 year old brother worked an eight hour shift, is in pain, so I rub his shoulders while the whole family watches TV? So what if I sit next to my 17 year old brother in bed and watch TV with him on his laptop, his hip jammed up against mine (because futons are NARROW!)? So what if my entire family is walking into a restaurant and my parents link arms, so my brothers and I do too? And finally, so what if my siblings and I say "I love you" to each other at the end of phone calls and when we head to bed at night?

We're FAMILY. We love each other. Why is it weird for us to show it? It's not creepy love. It doesn't cross any taboo lines. We don't have a house or a home. We have a haven. We're 100% percent comfortable with who we are here and who our family members are. Frankly, I think I'm lucky that our hugs aren't awkward. I'm lucky that I can say I love you to the people I adore without any hesitation. I'm lucky that if one of us is in pain, I can reach out and hold a hand, rub shoulders, kiss a cheek, sit closely so that he knows I am there.

I love this, but I will admit that compared to the rest of the world, we're weird. THIS is my normal, but it's the world's weird. Thus, when I insert this type of relationship, this type of physical and verbal affection, into my stories, I get adverse reactions. Writing about two fully grown brothers hugging each other after something traumatic comes across as un-masculine. Writing about two men, unrelated yet raised as brothers, who let each other see them cry--well, that's not just girly, that's just plain wimpy. In fiction and in life, it is unbelievable for men to be affectionate with each other and still be straight.

Put simply:

(1)  I come from a household that is verbally and physically loving

(2)  As a result, I like authors such as Robin Thurman and Sarah Rees Brennan, who write stories of characters who are also verbally and physically loving, such as brothers, sisters, really good friends

(3)  As a result, I also write want to write about these types of relationships

(4)  Because these are not societal norms, my stories and my taste in stories similar to them comes as a challenge to those attempting to review them

When I read that review of Robin Thurman's Nightlife, she was being given flack for the unbelievable connection between her two main characters, Cal and Niko. As a devoted fan, I knew just what the reviewer was bothered by. You know what? They were bothered by the very thing I love Robin's books for, the very thing I always write about, the very thing I grew up with. With all of this in mind, I can now understand why I got the incredibly critical feedback that I received from that writing group.

This has left me with just one question though: Shouldn't you showing your love for your loved ones BE a societal norm?