A Family Effort

Sorry I've been gone. Lots of excuses, but why list them? Just go with busy life!

Yesterday something happened that inspired me enough to take a minute. Nicole has been single for quite a while and she has reached an age where she feels it. She is lonely--and she wants to be in love. She wants to be looking into the future with someone. So far, that someone has been more than elusive. She has been on eHarmony and Okay Cupid, and has gone on some dates with nice guys, and boring guys, and odd guys. None of them even close to the right guy.

The other day we were sitting in our favorite coffee shop and there was a very attractive young man sitting there with his laptop. She smiled. He smiled back. I knew there was no way some guy was going to strike up a conversation with a pretty girl sitting with her parents, so Joseph and I left and went elsewhere to open the opportunity. Lo and behold, after a little maneuvering and manipulating on Nicole's sneaky part, a conversation ensued. They exchanged contact info and she left smiling.

Fast forward to the next day. Nicole is off work and feeling sad that it is Valentine's Day and she is single. Her brother Coryn arranged his day to spend the afternoon with her, getting frozen yogurt, taking pictures, and having fun. He's a peach. (Nicole has a "date" with her other brother on Monday to do the same. These boys love their sister.)In the middle of the fun, the new guy texts Nicole. They chat a bit and he ends up asking her out that night to meet up with he and his friends at a restaurant. She calls me excited but in a panic. She is out with Coryn! She doesn't want to end their time together (he is on the other line calling me to tell me to make her go!), and she isn't dressed for a date, and how would she get there and back since we had the car . . . . . This is what happened from there.

• Coryn and the rest of us convinced her to not let this opportunity pass her by. 
• Joseph and I ended our somewhat romantic Valentine's dinner alone and met the kids downtown. Nicole and I rush shopped for a dress for her to wear. Found one. 
• Uh oh. What about shoes? She was still wearing her work shoes since she had come from work. I gave her mine since we wear the same size. This meant I couldn't get out anywhere once we dropped her because I can't wear her work shoes. Ouch. 
• We drove across town and dropped her in front of the restaurant. Then we went to a store a few minutes away to wait for her signal of GO, I'm having fun and will Max home or COME and get me, this isn't going well.

In 15 minutes, the phone rang. Come and get me. Why? 

Hmmm . . . let's see . . . the guy broke up with his long term girlfriend THREE DAYS ago and "still isn't over it, and may never be." He has NO job and NO place to live and stressed four times he has NO MONEY. He said he wasn't eating because he forgot to bring his anti anxiety meds. He virtually never spoke to Nicole. Didn't stand up when she came in, didn't even wave when she left. 

NOT much potential there, wouldn't you agree? 

And, knowing she was bummed, we took her to a couple of fun places on the way home and made her laugh a lot. 

And when she went to bed that night smiling, I thought two things. First, I was so sorry that another guy turned out to be a mistake, especially considering how much time and effort was put into the date on her part. Second, I was amazingly aware of how loving and tight this family is. No one gave a moment's thought to doing whatever we could to get Nicole to her date and away from it! Her brother, Joseph and I all dropped what we had planned to support her. We did with love and joy and even though it didn't work out, the bottom line was she IS loved. And the right guy is out there and she is one step and one doofus closer to finding him. In the meantime, she is surrounded by people who will not hesitate to help her find that smile at the end of the day. 

You're So Lucky

I remember people saying to my mother, "You're so lucky your house is so clean."
She would roll her eyes and look at me, and we would chuckle. Luck had NOTHING to do with it. My mom worked on her house like some people work on careers, a college degree, a car--in other words, with dedication, passion, determination, and not a little obsession. Our house was always ready for being featured in a spread in a magazine. Honestly, I think my parents went a tad overboard on the whole cleaning issue, BUT the house did look GOOD.

Today, I've been told the same thing.
You're so LUCKY your kids like you so much.
You're so LUCKY your writing career has done so well.
You're so LUCKY you've had such a long and happy marriage.

Okay, I'll give a tiny percentage to just luck, but for the most part, all of these things were achieved through effort, not luck. Nicole, Caspian, and Coryn are good friends and are close to me because of how I have parented them. My writing career has developed and evolved because I WORKED--I wrote for free, met impossible deadlines, networked, pushed, put in 14 hour days, and earned a solid reputation. My marriage? Long talks, lots of touching, laughter, and love, yes--but not luck.

Don't get me wrong--I feel immensely grateful for all of these things. But I also earned them. I didn't get blessed with them out of the blue. They weren't some gift I was given without even having to ask. I am lucky--lucky that I am a determined, passionate, dedicated--and yes, even a little obsessed--woman.

Life . . . Always a Rollercoaster Ride!

Have you ever really thought about how much life is like a roller coaster ride at the fair? I mean . . . it always costs more than you expect it to. Lines are inevitable. You have to stand next to fascinating people, good looking people, less than enjoyable people, and those who forgot how to shower. You sit down and can't help but think you may have put on a few pounds. The music is whatever band you don't like and it's too loud. Still, you're excited. Adventure awaits. You're brave and ready to take whatever is thrown at you.

You start slow and then everything speeds up. There are unexpected drops. Exhilarating rushes. Scary turns. Peaceful pauses. Eventually, there is pride and gratitude for survival.

See? Just like life.

So my ride lately has consisted of . . . the ups and downs of Nicole's dating life. DOWN . . this one was disappointing . . UP . . the next one was handsome and charming . . and hasn't called back yet, so back down we plummet. UP . . . J's eye appointment proved his eyes are fine, just aging like the rest of our bodies . . . DOWN . . . it's winter, his beard is long and damn, I hate it but don't know what to do about it. It's his face . . . . and he accepts everything about me without complaint. . . . UP . . Coryn is home . . . DOWN . . . Caspian is leaving.  . . . UP . . my numbers are all great . . . DOWN . . . work is only trickling in and if it doesn't change, the coming months could be beyond challenging.

As in the ride and life, I laugh, I cry, I scream, and I hang on tight to the people closest to me and sharing the ride. I keep riding, because, in the end, if I had to start over, I'd get right back in line.

2014? Really? Wow.

I admit it. The years are starting to run together. 2014 just seems impossible and futuristic. I wasn't used to it being 2013 yet. I think I really stopped being used to the year in 2010.

Life in the Orr house is in the usual state of flux. The holidays were wonderful! Having Coryn home was gift alone. His sharp wit and warm hugs were missed and the house seems so much more complete now that he is here. Gifts--thoughtful, loving gifts--were exchanged. Good food was consumed. Couch potato-ism ensued as we watched movies together in the living room.

New Year's was nice--quiet. Nicole had to work until 10 pm so we were out late getting her. Coryn had gone out of town to an overnight party. Caspian was home with us. We made a late dinner so we could eat with Nicole after she got home. We ate, watched the ball drop, and then went outside to see Portland's usual fireworks. It was incredibly foggy (as it has consistently been this winter) and the fireworks couldn't really be seen. However, you could hear them and then the fog would light up in flashes of red, green, purple--it was actually quite fantastic. We kissed and hugged, and I texted a quick I love you to the boy at a party.

As life returns to "normal", I am looking at my writing schedule and hoping it picks up, although WOW, have I loved the extra time off. I have a list of 14 phone calls I need to make this morning to follow up on various things. We are getting ready for Caspian to leave us now--he leaves in less than a week for his time in New Orleans. He is joining a construction team renovating an apartment complex. As far as I know, all of them are unschoolers, so it should be quite the team. We aren't sure how long he will be gone--it might be a matter of a month--or six. I already miss him.

Nicole continues in her elusive hunt for the right life partner. She told me last night that she blamed Joseph and I for being so picky. "I want what you have," she said, "and that means the bar is set awfully high." I remind her that what Joseph and I have after 31 years is NOT what we had when we first married, but she's right--I was a lucky one and I want her to be just as fortunate.

I'm feeling pretty good--health issues are plaguing others in the family. Coryn is covered in . . . rash? bites? allergic reaction? We don't know. We've tried treating it at home with typical methods but today was my cut off. If it's not substantially better when he gets up this morning, it's off t the doctor. Joseph has a floater and has been having flashes of light in his eye--which can be from age (I had the same thing a 1 1/2 years ago) or could be the first symptoms of a detaching retina, so off to the eye doctor it is. But my BP and sugars are staying down and the weight is s l o w l y dropping--I lost 44 lbs from June to the end of the year. I miss walking and hope to get back to it as soon as possible.

That's the update, guys. Hope all is well in your house, that your holidays were wonderful, and that 2014 (really? wow!) has started out with great hope, potential, and possibility.

Numbers Queen

Yeah baby, I'm the Numbers Queen. I am my new health care provider's "Star Patient."
Why?
Because, in 7 months, I have cut my cholesterol in HALF.
Lost 43 pounds.
Dropped my blood sugar from so high it was not on the charts, to so low it doesn't qualify as even PRE diabetic.
No longer anemic.
No longer low thyroid.
Blood pressure? Still need some meds, but one-EIGHTH of what I was taking before.
The physician's assistant said, I have NEVER had a patient accomplish this before.
After all the hard work, this feels pretty damn good. Like a Christmas present.

On other notes--the traveling boy is HOME AGAIN. So glad to have him back. I go in his room and just smile when I see him sleeping. I forgot how much he made me laugh, how much I enjoyed having him around.
Caspian, will be my next gypsy. He is leaving in three weeks for months in New Orleans, helping a team of young people rebuild an apartment complex in the city. He will be there for Mardi Gras. Oh dear.
The new year is fast approaching. I am not without concerns . . . . have some pretty worrisome issues waiting for my attention whenever I find a second to think about them. But as I face them, I will do it knowing that I am the NUMBERS QUEEN. Yeah, baby.

Just in Case . . . .

 . . .you don't get enough of this Orr's writing, you can read another Orr's writings at this link. http://mymyriadofmosaics.blogspot.com/
Yes, she's wonderful.
Yes, I'm prejudiced.
Yes, I don't care that I'm biased. And proud. And adore every fiber of that girl.

Promise to post soon. Life has been kickin' my butt and I am pulling myself up again. After all, I'm a vampire.
Not sure what that means? Read her blog and you will.

The Holidays are Upon Us

As I post this, it is bitterly cold outside. From inside, it doesn't look like it. The sun is shining and the winds have slowed. Ah, just deception, however. The wind chill is below freezing and will hit single digits tonight. Brrrrr. All the more reason to stay inside where it is warm and I am happy.

My career seems to be in a state of . . .dormancy? . . . right now! Hey, maybe Tami gets her own mid-season hiatus like her favorite TV shows. Ha, never thought of that before.

My assignments have dwindled down to almost nothing, which is a little (Ha, a little) scary. I was hired yesterday by a new company, and I have several jobs pending that will probably kick in after the holidays, but for right now, I have one large project to tie up and then I'm assignment-less. On one hand, I LOVE it. I can spend the holiday season wrapping and napping, reading and watching movies with the family . . . . I certainly relish my time off, but I also know that about February/March, life will be very, very stressful because of this time off.

I've looked into getting a "regular" job, but hesitate to commit to anything. Right now Caspian and Nicole have jobs that they have to get to and from (some are public transportable--some not), Coryn is returning in 11 days (YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!), and there's much to do to prepare for the holiday. I am sending out the gifts I've been accumulating in our bedroom all year for people.  All of our relatives are back in Indiana, so lots of boxes headed back that way. (The post office depends on what I send out each month to pay the electric bill, I think.) I'm putting together the annual holiday letter and sending out cards to people I've worked with this year. I don't know how to fit in a regular job . . and would really prefer not to. I will keep sending out those emails to companies and hope someone says, Wow have I got a great, months-long, high-paying, fascinating-topic, fun-editor, flexible-deadline job for you.

Ha, right. Well at least a combination of two of any of those factors. I can settle for that.

I am planning to post some book reviews/comments, as I haven't done that in ages. Do you keep track of what you read each year? I always start out thinking I will get so much reading done, and, at the end of the year I total the titles up, I am amazed to not hit 50 books. Where, oh where, did the time go?

Hope your house is warm, your hours are busy, your bank accounts are full, your heart is fuller--or at least some combination of these factors!