Monday, February 20, 2012

Becoming my Mother

When my Mom was about 50, she was diagnosed with severe osteoporosis, caused largely by her doctors who gave her artificial hormones to bring on an early menopause (at age 31). She was in a lot of pain for many years and went to multiple doctors, most of whom told her she was either imagining the pain, or that she just needed to "cheer up" and she would be peachey fine.

When she was given the diagnosis of osteoporosis, she cried--in relief. Finally, she knew what was wrong and she could deal with it from there. She took lots of medications, upped her calcium and spent many hours each day sitting with a heating pad or out walking to support bone strength. Her health problems didn't end there but I still remember her relief that she wasn't "crazy"--she was in pain. It had a name and a cause.

I would give almost anything to be able to call her and discuss this with her now, because I feel like I am experiencing almost exactly what she did. I know she wouldn't have any answers for me, but just being able to relate to her story and share the frustration (not to mention just hearing her voice again) would be amazing.

Today I sit in my chair with a heating pad, and I am in pain. And the doctors tell me nothing. They throw pain meds at me and tell me to lose a few pounds (hello . . . .this didn't start until after I lost 40 lbs.!). And all I can think of is, gosh, I would love to talk to my Mom. She knew.

Still have a Mom around? Give her a call. Don't tell her about what you are up to--ask her what is new in her life and then LISTEN when she tells you. I can absolutely guarantee you that one day you will wish you could. Trust me.


Ami said...

(((hugs)) Not tough, manly ones. Since I love you IATNLW, but gentle ones that won't cause you more pain.

Calling my mom in about half an hour.

Bev said...

Ah, yes! I feel like I am finally grieving for my Mom since Dad died. I was young and busy with young kids and didn't know nothing about grieving. Now, I have to take the grief out consciously and look at it. I must make time in my life for it or I will set it aside. You have been a good example for me about that. You honor their memories as you move through grief. And yes, I wish I could pick up the phone and call and talk with them.

And I wish, wish, wish that you could do that with your Mom today and get some support. Hugs to you, my friend. Loving you and praying for you.

Anonymous said...

Hi Tamra! This is the story of my mother. Poor thing is in so much pain from time to time. Got your FAT envie today and LOVE it all!! I'll take the time to go through it and answer.
Lots of love from The Netherlands,