If you've been reading this blog, writing me letters, or know me personally, you know that one habit I am NOT FOND OF (read disgusted and appalled by) is spitting. Now if a bug flies in your mouth or you're eating something horrible, spitting is permissible. Not on the sidewalk where I'm walking, mind you, but discreetly into a wastebasket or napkin.
This morning I was awakened by our neighbor. (Yes, we are still sleeping out on the upper deck.) Now, they have a little baby (just about one now, I think) and occasionally I am wakened by him crying or someone taking him outside and playing with him. Those are basically good sounds.
This morning the husband was doing something in the back yard. I don't know what it was, but it involved a lot of moving stuff around and making noise. It was only 8 a.m. but that's ok. I am sleeping outside and I do not expect the squirrels and birds to stop chirping and chittering, or the traffic to stop honking and revving their engines, or the neighborhood dogs to stop barking. Actually, I generally like those sounds. Since I have tinnitus, ear plugs are certainly not an option. Then I would hear much more unpleasant sounds.
Today, however, was something completely different. About every 3-5 minutes, this man would make that horrible, guttural throat sound that precedes spitting and then spit. Now, I don't know what is wrong with this young man. He is only in his 20s, I think. But I would be concerned about lung cancer by the sounds of it. How can only ONE PERSON have that much phlegm?? I mean . . . . in the half hour I laid there trying desperately to go back to sleep, he did it at least a dozen times. Each time was rattly and wet and UGLY sounding. I finally gave up and got up.
While I was getting my glasses, putting on my nightgown, hugging my husband good morning and adjusting to Sherm's constant presence, the guy did it another three times. I am sure it must be a real turn on for his wife. Ewwwwww.
If I was writing Commandments, Thou Shall Not Spit (Unless a Bug Flyeth into your Mouth) would definitely be in the top five. At least you can rest assured I'm not coveting my neighbor's spouse!