Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Sherm, Part 2

Sherm has overstayed his welcome. Admittedly, he had overstayed it ten minutes after I noticed him lurking in my right eye, but a week later, he has really, really overstayed it.
I don't like him. Sure, he's quiet and he doesn't cause me any pain. But when I take a shower, I keep thinking something is crawling up the wall.
It's Sherm.
When I type I keep reaching up to brush back what seems like an annoying hair.
It's Sherm.
When I first wake up in the morning and look around, I think what the hell is that thing?
Yes, it's Sherm.
I want him to go away now. The right side of my body is already so screwed. It's the side with the bad eye, the bad ear, the bad hip. The side I had the kidney stones. The side my back hurts. The side my headaches are on. The side I can't hear as well on, and has 24/7 tinnitus. The side with the carpal tunnel wrist that I have to keep a brace on.
Enough is enough, right?
So, I am serving Sherm an eviction notice. I am giving him 24 hours to move out of my body and into something else like . . I don't know. . how about a fly? They have such wild and crazy eyes anyway, they probably wouldn't notice a sperm-like floater that keeps dancing around. Sherm could see much more interesting places if he hung out with a fly. Nature has to be more interesting than the computer screen I am usually staring at.
Think it will work? Cross your fingers for me. (Don't cross your eyes though!)


Ami said...

When he gets the eviction notice, he will appeal it, I just know it.

So give me his number. I will find him and kick his ass.

Beck said...

I don't mean to be a downer but are you sure it's not something you need to have removed? Ian has twice had to go to the hospital to have tiny things removed from his eye. Because we didn't get it out straight away the top bit of the eye started to grow over the tiny things (do I sound like I know what I'm talking about?!).

WritingGoddess said...

Thanks Beck. To clarify, Sherm is NOT on the eyeball itself. He is a floater in the vitreous humor of the eye. That is why there is no pain. He just floats around the back of my eyeball, causing a shadow and driving me slowly insane.

Beck said...

Ahhhhhh, gotcha. Will it ever go away?

Medical Librarian said...

Here's hoping he went away with his eviction notice. I feel for you because it sounds really annoying!!