I am scolding myself for putting up yet another complaint post. I mean, it can't be fun to keep coming back to check on me and see one more bitching post . . . and i am sorry. But then again, I reassure myself, this is MY blog and it is here for me to do just what I am doing . . . venting.
I compared myself today to a person walking on a tightrope. Thanks to skill, experience, and concentration, making it from one side to the other is highly possible. However, if an unexpected gust of wind comes along. . . known as any other kind of unexpected stressor, from work requirements to grouchy editors to troubled children to life complications . . . I can feel myself teetering and losing balance.
I have had a very sore left elbow for several days. Last night, it woke me up three times. Today, it is swollen and so very very sore. I am guessing either bursitis or gout, but suspect bursitis from the way it slowly crept up. Either way, the result is the same--it hurts. It hurts a LOT. It hurts to the touch. It hurts to bend my arm. It hurts to lift anything.It isn't an unbearable pain . . . sure, it often feels like someone is holding a lighter to my elbow, but compared to kidney stones, t'ain't nuthin.
But, when you add it to the daily leg, hip, back, ankle, foot pain . . . it just becomes too much. It is that slight gust of wind that makes my balance harder to maintain. It makes me cry. It makes me want to avoid work. It makes me angry. It turns me into a frustrated toddler, stamping her feet on the ground and yelling, BUT IT ISN'T FAIR.
The wind is not welcome right now. I have my emotional and psychological hands full with just coping and waiting for the doctor's call. Please . . . give the tightrope walker a break. Still those breezes and let it stay calm until I get all the way across to the other side. Then blow all the hell you want, because I will be out of the way and safe.