Books, Books, and More Books!

Hey there, I haven't reviewed books I have read for a while, so here I am with the good, the boring, and the disappointing.

So far, in the first four months of 2012, I have read 13 books. That is pitiful compared to some (like my son Coryn, who could read that in a week, easy), but not bad compared to the national average of 16 per YEAR. I tend to "grade" them and if they rate less than C+, I QUIT reading them. That is a huge improvement from the old Tami who would just KEEP READING in the hopes the book would get better. It never did, so why I persisted when there are so many books and so little time is beyond me. So, anyway, here are a few of the reviews:

Worth Fighting For by Lisa Neimi Swayze. I have been a HUGE Patrick Swayze fan since I first saw "Dirty Dancing" (we will not discuss how many times I have watched it again) and "Ghost" (still makes me cry like an idiot every time). He is one of the few celebrities whose death made me cry. Reading his wife's story of his last few years from diagnosis to his death, was sobering and sweet and raw. If you're a Swayze fan, I recommend it.

The Pack by Jason Starr: an entirely different take on the whole werewolf theme (and hey, at least it isn't zombies this time). I enjoyed this one--light reading that made you re-think single dads and a bottle of beer.

Cemetery Girl by David Bell. Hmmmmm. I wanted to love this one, but I didn't. I think that someone with a different family dynamic might, but I found the relationship between the father and daughter implausible. It disturbed me enough that it made it hard for me to accept the rest of the story. It does have an intriguing plot line though.

Trail of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz. I realized, while looking through the journal where I write down what I have read, that I have read a Spellman Files book every March/April for the past four years. I think that's amusing. I LOVE these books. In fact, if I am giving someone a gift, I tend to choose the first one in the series as a gift because I like them so much. They are funny enough that I am quoting them out loud all the time. They have FOOTNOTES, which tickles me no end. If you haven't read them, let me know your birthday and I will make sure you get the first one too. :)

The Thirteen by Susie Moloney. I just finished this one last night. On the down side, there was nothing surprising in it--no last minute twists that made my eyebrows go up. On the plus side, I really, really enjoyed the book. Predictability aside, it was a good story with strong female characters (some of them a little to strong since they were also evil) and I enjoyed every page. A spooky tale about witches and their control on a small town.

Blockade Billy by Stephen King. Yeah, yeah, this one has been out for ages and I am just now reading it. I had to wait for my husband while he went in search of an auto part, so I sat in the car and read this (so short, you can easily do in one sitting). It was quick and fun and surprised me, which I like. I'm a long time King fan and I am sure I would have enjoyed this much better if I liked and understood baseball.

Last night was Saturday night and we couldn't do our former tradition of hanging out at Border's and listening to live music because, tragically, Border's is a part of the past. Barnes and Noble doesn't have music. The usual Saturday night B-movie on sci-fi had been abandoned for an Indiana Jones marathon, so we did something different. We all went to Fred Meyers department store (it has a decent sized book area) and since paperbacks were buy two, get one free, I told Nicole, Coryn and Joseph to each pick three. It was fun! We shared books back and forth, made recommendations and just enjoyed looking for almost an hour.

Then when we paid, they forgot to give us our free books . . . so we had to stand in line at customer service. Finally, we got our money back and left. The kids had a really, really good time, which made me smile. We came home and instead of watching a movie or TV show, we turned on music and all curled up on couches and read for three hours. It was fun and peaceful and just . . .. nice. We missed Caspian, of course, (and NO, he didn't call this weekend like he was supposed to) but I am so glad we did it. I forsee more reading evenings like this to come. And when they do, I will write up some more reviews for you.

What have you read this year that you loved/hated?

An Orr Moment

If you didn't know much about our family, you would have learned a lot tonight.

It was 11:18 and we had just finished watching the movie, "Tin Tin". It was the third of the three we had rented and we had 42 minutes before it would be considered late. (Or so we thought.) So we all popped into the car and headed to the closest McDonald's where we had Red Box'd them. We thought, just maybe, if we drove through the drive-in, we could hand them in since the restaurant was closed.

Of course, being in line at a fast food restaurant, Nicole and Coryn were hungry.

So, we ordered sandwiches and went up to pay. Guess what? Food, yes. Take movies for us? Methinks not.

So, laughing, we sat in the parking lot and ate. Then, Coryn pulled out his iPod Touch and found the next closest Red Box with an outside box. We drove there, turned in the movies at 11:45.

Of course, being in line at the movie kiosk, Nicole and Coryn had to get out and look at movies.

We returned the movies and then got in the car. Kids still looking at movies. We honked. Kids continued to look at movies. Mother told Father to drive on home and see what happened.

We backed out and pulled away.

The kids just waved goodbye and went back to looking. Yes, they are that confident that we wouldn't leave them.

Finally, they came over to the van. Did they get in?

Methinks not.

They proceeded to run laps around the van, Nicole with her snuglie blowing behind her. Sheesh.

FINALLY they got in and we came home, laughing at how much time we had spent trying to return those movies on time.

Walked in the door, checked my email and guess what?

Got charged for an extra day. SHEEEEEESH.

Wasted trip?

Methinks not.

Wanna send a card?

Caspian will be spending his 19th birthday at Northwest Youth Corps and I thought it might be fun to make sure he got lots of cards to celebrate the day (plus make him blush). If you would be willing to send a card to him, leave me a comment and I will send you the address. Thanks. What almost 19 yr old son doesn't want lots of cards from people in front of all his new friends? Snicker.

And then there were four . . . . .

Caspian is now gone for five weeks. Sigh. His being gone is not what causes me the most angst. It is the not knowing how it is doing that causes me to lie in bed at night awake and worrying. Is he having fun? Making friends? Glad he is there? Not knowing is tough. No matter where the kids have traveled so far (Nicole to Alaska, Coryn to California, Cas to Indiana and New Hampshire), I was always able to get the occasional call or text or email. This time I can check online to the organization's "Field Notes" every Friday afternoon to find out where they are and what his team is doing but it doesn't answer any of MY questions . . . is he having fun? making friends? glad he is there?

I am often told by people I know that my kids are so much more adventuresome than others, but partly, I believe, it is due to the fact that they have the TIME to be so. They aren't in school every day, all day. Instead they are meeting people, exploring ideas, traveling to places and making decisions about what to do--or where to go--next. Nicole is heading to Australia in September; Caspian hopes to follow this outing with another with the same group and then either join Americorps or go to Alaska and work where Nicole did. As for Coryn, he is still counting the days until the Life is Good conference in May and then Not Back to School Camp in August. After that? Who knows? He is already asking about going to Australia's camp for homeschoolers.

Joseph and I just sit back and take a lot of deep breaths, buy a lot of equipment, pay for a lot of tickets, and Mom tries not to cry too hard when they leave (at least not until I am out of sight.) I got the first taste of that many years ago when Jasmine boarded a plane to New York. Back then, you could walk all the way to the gate with them. We did and I smiled and waved until she was out of sight and then I cried. All the way to the car. All the way home. Now I just blink a lot, swallow, sniffle and try to focus on the good parts instead of the missing. But I still lie in bed and wonder . . . .is he having fun? making friends? glad he went?

My First Ever Contest

For all my DOZEN of readers (snicker), I have a give away for you. Be the first person to comment on this post and you will receive a beautiful address book in which to keep anything from penpals to relatives to businesses you work with to work contacts to whatever you want. I will send it to you in the mail and even foot the postage.

"I'm SO sorry"

You often hear references to those "three little words" we all want to hear and the implication is often that it is "I love you". While I agree that those are VERY important words that I say and hear no less than a dozen times a day, I think that almost as important are the words, "I'm so sorry". I don't mean apologizing for something you did wrong--although you should and without prompting and with sincerity--but just the acknowledgement that you ARE sorry for what is happening to someone.

I was inspired by this the other day when I was waiting for some food I had ordered. A family came into the restaurant where we were and as the little boy came in, his fingers got caught in the door. If you have ever had this happen to you, you know it hurts TERRIBLY. It really, really hurts. I have had it happen to a couple of my kids--once to Jasmine when she was about four and once to Coryn when he was six. It really hurts--there are a lot of nerves right there. So this little guy (he was about 8-9) yelled and then began crying. For the next ten minutes, the rest of the family (dad, two older brothers and a sister) argued about whose FAULT it was that it happened. No one took the time to just wrap their arms around the little guy and tell him "I am SO sorry!" I was aggravated . . . .

Have you ever seen adults do that do kids when they cry? Oh, you're okay . . . . you're fine . . . . no need to cry . . . or just ignore them completely? I cannot fathom that. I always tried to respond to my kids with, "I know it hurts and I am so very sorry. It will get better." And then I would hold, hug, get ice, band aids and of course, kisses. I remember once when Jasmine was in the woods on a tire swing at Grandma's house and it swung into a tree. It hurt and it was scary! I heard her yell all the way in the house. My mother in law went after her since I was holding a nursing baby at the time and I heard her tell Jasmine, "Oh, you're okay honey. Stop crying." I know she meant well, but it wasn't comforting. I sat down with her, we cuddled, she cried and I told her how sorry I was that she had gotten hurt and scared. Isn't that how we, even as adults, would want to be treated?

When I see a child that has gotten hurt physically or even emotionally, I want to reach out and just say, I am SO sorry. When my friend recently lost her husband of 35 years, I said the same thing. We cannot stop the pain, but we can let people know we care and we are sad for them. And certainly we owe our children that!

Half Empty or Half Full?

I am constantly amazed at some of the conversations the Orrs have during the course of any meal. Eating together is important to us, as I have mentioned before. Much of our days are spent scattered and meals are often a time for us to catch up with each other's activities. Conversations truly run the gamut from trivial and shallow to profound and meaningful, with many, many hilarious topics in between. I spend as much time laughing as I do eating at most meals.

The other day I brought up a question. I said to each kid, "If you had to define yourself as a pessimist or an optimist, which would it be?" I already suspected what their answers would be but kept quiet. I was dead on right too. Coryn said optimist; both Nicole and Caspian said pessimist. I had already seen this trend in them and thought it was time to discuss it. It actually led to a fascinating conversation which I think we all enjoyed and learned from. Since depression tends to run in our family (Joseph and some of his relatives, my mother), it is a topic we take seriously.

Clearly, we all accept that no one is a 100 percent optimist or pessimist--we all have moments of both. I remember my parents--mom was an optimist, dad was a pessimist. I always knew when I shared news with them that they would have vastly different responses. Dad was always seeing the possibility of trouble and complications, while Mom was always thinking of possibilities and adventures. Watching my kids, I could see those traits reflecting back to me and I was worried. Nicole was just called back into work at an old job and what I thought she would see as a perfect opportunity, she saw with dread. We talked about it and then the whole family discussed it and now a couple of us are listening to positive affirmations/positive outlook CDs at night.

I consider myself a definite optimist. I greet each day with gratitude and I try always to look at each situation in the most positive light possible. I falter, for sure, but I try hard to remember that life is precious and so limited. I am just so glad that I get to share it with these wonderful people--pessimists and otherwise. :)