Monday, April 9, 2012

And then there were four . . . . .

Caspian is now gone for five weeks. Sigh. His being gone is not what causes me the most angst. It is the not knowing how it is doing that causes me to lie in bed at night awake and worrying. Is he having fun? Making friends? Glad he is there? Not knowing is tough. No matter where the kids have traveled so far (Nicole to Alaska, Coryn to California, Cas to Indiana and New Hampshire), I was always able to get the occasional call or text or email. This time I can check online to the organization's "Field Notes" every Friday afternoon to find out where they are and what his team is doing but it doesn't answer any of MY questions . . . is he having fun? making friends? glad he is there?

I am often told by people I know that my kids are so much more adventuresome than others, but partly, I believe, it is due to the fact that they have the TIME to be so. They aren't in school every day, all day. Instead they are meeting people, exploring ideas, traveling to places and making decisions about what to do--or where to go--next. Nicole is heading to Australia in September; Caspian hopes to follow this outing with another with the same group and then either join Americorps or go to Alaska and work where Nicole did. As for Coryn, he is still counting the days until the Life is Good conference in May and then Not Back to School Camp in August. After that? Who knows? He is already asking about going to Australia's camp for homeschoolers.

Joseph and I just sit back and take a lot of deep breaths, buy a lot of equipment, pay for a lot of tickets, and Mom tries not to cry too hard when they leave (at least not until I am out of sight.) I got the first taste of that many years ago when Jasmine boarded a plane to New York. Back then, you could walk all the way to the gate with them. We did and I smiled and waved until she was out of sight and then I cried. All the way to the car. All the way home. Now I just blink a lot, swallow, sniffle and try to focus on the good parts instead of the missing. But I still lie in bed and wonder . . . .is he having fun? making friends? glad he went?


Ami said...

So hard to think about those days coming... mine leave for short periods of time (like to ::gasp:: spend the night with a girlfriend)
but they've never been gone more than 2 weeks.

Hope he has a blast.

Bev said...

Knowing Caspian and how well he and Gary got along, he is making friends to beat the band. :D:D

countrydirt said...

I expect you raised your kids to be able to deal with whatever comes their way.

They will.

Trust your raising. You did just fine. And now....they are doing what you raised them to do.

Good job.

Go ahead, worry, that's what moms do. Then, go give Joseph a grope! ;)