Monday, April 5, 2010

I Dream about Dead People. . . .

Dreams are really amazing things, aren't they? Authors of all kinds have written about them. Journals are devoted to them. Psychologists make money analyzing them. I have one child who dreams vividly almost every nite and keeps record of all of them. My husband never recalls a single dream that he has. I dream 3 to 4 times a week that I am aware of. In the last year or so, they have had a recurring theme and I don't like it.

I dream about the people in my life that I love and cannot see in reality. I dream about my mom and dad who died. I dream about my oldest daughter who I miss because I have not seen her in so long. I dream about friends I have lost along the years to illness, suicide and car accidents. One friend of mine insists that I dream about people who have died because that is their spirits way of visiting me. Okay. Well, I don't believe that but it sounds nice.

I believe I dream about these people for a simple reason: I love and miss them so they are on my mind. When I dream of them, things are okay again. If I am dreaming of my mother, for example, she is always so apologetic for the fact that I thought she had died. It was all a big misunderstanding and she is fine. We laugh over it and then have lunch, go shopping or any of a dozen other things we used to do together. I dream of my dad and asking his advice on important matters. He always has the right answer for me too. I dream of Jasmine and we are laughing together and having fun. There is no tension, no underlying anger, no worries about saying or doing something that will spark disagreement. We are just mother and daughter who love each other. I hope that, unlike with my parents who are gone, that may one day turn into reality. In the meantime, I wait and wonder and worry. Ah, parenthood.

Of course, I also have ridiculous dreams . . . . like surviving a tsunami because we are in the VW bus and it floats . . . or going shopping at a store that has nothing in my size or price range . . . . or last night's hosting a party where I didn't know and didn't like anyone who came. Sheesh.

So, I go to bed, perchance to dream but I don't always enjoy the process.


Ami said...
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Ami said...

I always choose to think about a dream visit from someone I love who has died as exactly that. A visit.

I don't even care if it's true... it feels like truth to me.

I wish I could write down all I dream. Some dreams are incredibly detailed and entertaining.

And don't you hate it when you wake up with a dream in your head and think there is NO way you're gonna forget that one... and half an hour later, it's gone