Sunday, August 24, 2008

Jack Spratt and Sleeping

You remember that old Mother Goose rhyme about Jack Spratt and his wife?

"Jack Spratt could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
So between the two of them
They licked the platter clean"

Well, Joseph and I are like that when it comes to sleep.
As bedtime approaches, he begins to shut down. (The ONLY time of day where he ever gets grumpy.) By the time he has changed out of his clothes and taken off his glasses, he is half asleep. When his head touches the pillow, he is three quarters. Within 5 minutes (usually closer to 60 seconds), the man is ASLEEP. I have learned never to choose this time to talk to him about anything important because he will be asleep before I finish the first sentence.

On the other hand, there is me. I get into bed, turn on my CD player, pop on the sound machine by the bed and then proceed to spend the next 30 minutes squishing my pillow, changing the covers, flipping from side to back to side, sticking one foot out of the covers, moving the pillow speaker 14 times, listening to Joseph breathe, making lists of what I need to do the next day, worrying about the kids who aren't home, missing my mom, and generally attempting to fall asleep. At last, between 30 and 60 minutes later, I do.

Lest you think he is lucky and I am not, however, let's continue this.

Morning arrives. The sun comes up. Joseph awakens at something ungodly like 5 or 5:30 a.m. He cannot go back to sleep, no matter how long he lies there. Finally, he gets up and goes downstairs onto the computer where he surfs the net and waits to get sleepy again. Sometimes it never happens and he is up for the day. Sometimes he comes back upstairs after an hour or so and gets back in bed. Can he sleep? Not likely. So he tosses a bit and gets back up.

I, on the other hand, can wake at 6 to pee, or at 7 to throw on an extra cover and blissfully look at the clock, say "It's too early" (anytime before 8 qualifies, including 7:59) and go right back to sleep.

He never, ever dreams (well, most likely he does but has no conscious memory of it). I dream ALL THE TIME (see previous post!). I wake up and entertain myself for the first few minutes thinking it all over and trying to figure out what everything meant. He loves the early morning hours (fortunate considering his sleep habits) and I love the late night ones. It's like we are the ying and yang of slumber, or the Jack Spratt if you will. So, how is it, after almost 26 years of marriage, we are closer and happier than we have ever been? Beats me!

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