For most of my life, one of the things I prided myself on was my ability to remember or recall things. Need a phone number you haven't used for months? Ask me cuz I will remember it. Need a person's name you briefly met last year? I know what it is. What was the title of that book you read last summer? I can tell you.
Well, no longer.
Maybe because of age--and mostly because of this damn hyperparathyroidism (HPT)--my memory seems to be full of gaping holes. Things that I usually remember without any effort are just beyond me these days. Last night, my son needed a password I had set up for him just a few weeks ago. I could not remember that password to save my life. Now I use the same two for everything but this one required throwing in a number and letter, etc, etc and I just could NOT recall what I used. I ended up more upset and frustrated than he was. This wasn't the first incident either. The other night I wrote about 1000 words and the computer lost them when I went to transfer them from one to another. I had to completely reconstruct them and it about killed me. I was in tears and it took me more than 30 minutes just to begin to rewrite it.
To make matters worse, when I run into something like this, it is almost impossible for me to let it "roll off my back". I have had more trouble controlling my frustration and tension levels than any other time in my life. I am a mellow person by nature. REALLY. But in the last few weeks, there are times I really have to fight not to act like . . . fill in the blank with your favorite word of choice. This too is a sign of the HPT. I keep telling myself that as soon as this surgery is over, I will be healthier, happier and able to remember things again.
Currently, it is about 92 hours until that surgery.
Can't tell I'm eager, can you?
I'd tell you more about it, but I can't remember what I wanted to say . . . .
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Of Rants and Raves
My husband is currently suggesting to me in his not so subtle fashion (i.e. repeatedly, loudly and frequently) that I need to start a second blog. This time it should be dedicated to ranting about the ups and downs of life as a freelance writer. This is probably out of self defense more than anything else. Right now the place I go to rant is HIM. I rant about editors who tell me one thing and expect another. I rant about editors who change their minds about something AFTER I've finished the assignment. I rant about editors who, six months or more after I have turned in a book manuscript email to ask me where I got the statistic at the bottom of page 54. I don't know! I've written a dozen books since then. I can't remember, so I have to dig through notes until I find it. I rant about editors who want revisions in 2 days even though they have had the manuscript for a year. Occasionally I rant about deadlines that I am not meeting, research that is impossible to find or interviewees who don't respond to my questions or phone calls. But, yea, mostly I rant about editors.
I have the best job in the world, mind you. I can do it at home, at my hours, in my pajamas. If I need to get up and run an errand in the middle of the day the only permission I need is my own. I get to be with my kids and answer their questions, attempt to solve their disputes and hug away hurts instead of doing it over the phone or when I get home that night. I really am lucky. But, it isn't all peaches and cream. I have dozens of bosses and man, can they be tempremental.
Recently, I had an editor say that I had written a part of a book about the differences between Christianity and Chinese superstitions with a clear bias towards the superiority of Christianity. If you know me well at all, you're already chuckling. Between the two, you can bet I would choose the Chinese superstitions.
I ranted for an hour over that one. Joseph listend with kindness and patience, with a mention of another blog every few minutes or so. But you know what? He also wrote me this really sweet little note and handed it to me while I was working. 26 years and he can still be so romantic. I put it up on my bulletin board. It's a reminder that even if I do start a new ranting blog, he will remain my favorite sounding board because blogs are nice, but Joseph offers sweet notes, soothing hugs and soft kisses. No competition.
I have the best job in the world, mind you. I can do it at home, at my hours, in my pajamas. If I need to get up and run an errand in the middle of the day the only permission I need is my own. I get to be with my kids and answer their questions, attempt to solve their disputes and hug away hurts instead of doing it over the phone or when I get home that night. I really am lucky. But, it isn't all peaches and cream. I have dozens of bosses and man, can they be tempremental.
Recently, I had an editor say that I had written a part of a book about the differences between Christianity and Chinese superstitions with a clear bias towards the superiority of Christianity. If you know me well at all, you're already chuckling. Between the two, you can bet I would choose the Chinese superstitions.
I ranted for an hour over that one. Joseph listend with kindness and patience, with a mention of another blog every few minutes or so. But you know what? He also wrote me this really sweet little note and handed it to me while I was working. 26 years and he can still be so romantic. I put it up on my bulletin board. It's a reminder that even if I do start a new ranting blog, he will remain my favorite sounding board because blogs are nice, but Joseph offers sweet notes, soothing hugs and soft kisses. No competition.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
By Request: Once a Month Homeschooling
I was asked to explain my "once a month" homeschooling program I am doing with my kids, so here goes.
I developed this idea when my now 24 yr old was about 12 or so. She thrived on it, making these amazing posters, reports and essays--talented kid (still is!). However, as time passed and more kids came and time got shorter, I forgot all about it.
Last month, at the beginning of September, my youngest (12) came to me and ASKED for homework. (Yea, I know . . . . he's sommmme kid). We are pretty radical unschoolers but I could sense a need to purpose and direction in him, so I sat down and started working on it. As I did, I remembered the Once a Month thing I did years ago and I put it together for him. By the time I was done, I was inspired enough to do the same for the 17 yr old and the 15 yr old. (Nah, they weren't nearly as enthused and even shot the 12 yr old a few dirty looks, but it has actually worked out a lot better than they had figured.)
At the beginning of the month, I write out what I want each one of them to accomplish during the next 30 days. I tailor it to their preferences (one loves to read, one to write, etc.) but I also stretch them in directions they wouldn't normally go. I involve reading, writing, speaking, researching, drawing and everything else in each one's assignments, but I shift the emphasis depending on his/her interests. I categorize the assignments under typical educationalese titles (English, Reading, Math, etc.) but that's more for my benefit to make sure I am covering the basics. I work VERY hard to make sure everything they are doing is RELEVANT to life--no busy work allowed. Here are some of the most important things I do with these lessons:
(1) They are based on a point system. You earn/lose points depending on if you turn it in early, on time or late. You can also gain points by NOT skipping any of the lessons. I always state that each one can eliminate two activities of their choice. This gives them more autonomy. Of course, the ones they skip are likely to show up again somewhere down the line because I am sneaky that way. The points are used for a book at Border's, a meal out with just me, etc.
(2) They have 30 days to complete it. If they do it all in the first week, fine. The last two days, fine. They have to live with the consequences and that way they are learning time management.
(3) I strongly focus on making everything relevant. For example, none of them could write their names in cursive at all or if they did, it looked very childish. This had caused enough of a problem that my son turned down something he wanted to go to because he knew he would have to sign in and was embarassed. So, right now, they are practicing their signatures five times a day and already the change has been so significant they can easily see it.
(4) Each month, I ask them to provide me with a list of what they would like me to include--or NOT include--in the next month's lessons. I want them to have control over what I put in their lessons. No matter what it is, I follow up on it and get the info they need to learn more.
(5) I include activities like doing things together, making phone calls for information, researching ideas online, etc. It isn't just stuff they sit in their room and do.
(6) Each month, they have gone out together on the Max downtown to a bookstore and worked on their homework, helping each other if someone gets stuck. I can't begin to say how pleased I am to see that! What relationship lessons!!!!
(7) At the end of the month, they bring it to me and I go over each one individually to see what they have done. I ask questions, give feedback--and give them undivided attention--something that is rare around here.
(8) Part of each month's lesson is to read a book of their choice off one certain shelf in our house. All three of my kids rank reading right up there with eating and breathing, so convincing them to read is NO problem. However, they have their genres that they stick with and I want to expand that. All of the books I provide are either nonfiction or historical fiction. They can choose from more than 20 titles, so it is hardly limited. There are a few modern classics in there, some historical fiction, some autobiographies, etc. Again, this way, they have choice and that often makes all the difference.
(9) I try hard NOT to nag them. I want them to learn how to selfdiscipline and self monitor, so nagging would just negate that. Instead, about once a week or so, I slip a "Hmmmm, the month is half over already" or "How's the homework coming?" comment. In the first month, they all turned their work in on time. Two were three days early and the third came in minutes before midnight. It will be interesting to see how that does/does not change this month.
(10) We are always available to help. If they are stuck, confused, frustrated or lost, all they have to do is come to us and we sit down and help. Last time I did this with my oldest son, we finished and he grinned at me and said, "With you helping me, I feel like I could learn anything!" That's a statement I am not likely to forget for a long time.
I still strongly feel that we are completely unschooling but I also know that they are learning some material that they really need and will use. Can I keep this up amidst the coming surgery, holidays and work load? I sure hope so. Will they continue to like it? I sure hope so.
Did this post explain my method clearly?
I sure hope so.
I developed this idea when my now 24 yr old was about 12 or so. She thrived on it, making these amazing posters, reports and essays--talented kid (still is!). However, as time passed and more kids came and time got shorter, I forgot all about it.
Last month, at the beginning of September, my youngest (12) came to me and ASKED for homework. (Yea, I know . . . . he's sommmme kid). We are pretty radical unschoolers but I could sense a need to purpose and direction in him, so I sat down and started working on it. As I did, I remembered the Once a Month thing I did years ago and I put it together for him. By the time I was done, I was inspired enough to do the same for the 17 yr old and the 15 yr old. (Nah, they weren't nearly as enthused and even shot the 12 yr old a few dirty looks, but it has actually worked out a lot better than they had figured.)
At the beginning of the month, I write out what I want each one of them to accomplish during the next 30 days. I tailor it to their preferences (one loves to read, one to write, etc.) but I also stretch them in directions they wouldn't normally go. I involve reading, writing, speaking, researching, drawing and everything else in each one's assignments, but I shift the emphasis depending on his/her interests. I categorize the assignments under typical educationalese titles (English, Reading, Math, etc.) but that's more for my benefit to make sure I am covering the basics. I work VERY hard to make sure everything they are doing is RELEVANT to life--no busy work allowed. Here are some of the most important things I do with these lessons:
(1) They are based on a point system. You earn/lose points depending on if you turn it in early, on time or late. You can also gain points by NOT skipping any of the lessons. I always state that each one can eliminate two activities of their choice. This gives them more autonomy. Of course, the ones they skip are likely to show up again somewhere down the line because I am sneaky that way. The points are used for a book at Border's, a meal out with just me, etc.
(2) They have 30 days to complete it. If they do it all in the first week, fine. The last two days, fine. They have to live with the consequences and that way they are learning time management.
(3) I strongly focus on making everything relevant. For example, none of them could write their names in cursive at all or if they did, it looked very childish. This had caused enough of a problem that my son turned down something he wanted to go to because he knew he would have to sign in and was embarassed. So, right now, they are practicing their signatures five times a day and already the change has been so significant they can easily see it.
(4) Each month, I ask them to provide me with a list of what they would like me to include--or NOT include--in the next month's lessons. I want them to have control over what I put in their lessons. No matter what it is, I follow up on it and get the info they need to learn more.
(5) I include activities like doing things together, making phone calls for information, researching ideas online, etc. It isn't just stuff they sit in their room and do.
(6) Each month, they have gone out together on the Max downtown to a bookstore and worked on their homework, helping each other if someone gets stuck. I can't begin to say how pleased I am to see that! What relationship lessons!!!!
(7) At the end of the month, they bring it to me and I go over each one individually to see what they have done. I ask questions, give feedback--and give them undivided attention--something that is rare around here.
(8) Part of each month's lesson is to read a book of their choice off one certain shelf in our house. All three of my kids rank reading right up there with eating and breathing, so convincing them to read is NO problem. However, they have their genres that they stick with and I want to expand that. All of the books I provide are either nonfiction or historical fiction. They can choose from more than 20 titles, so it is hardly limited. There are a few modern classics in there, some historical fiction, some autobiographies, etc. Again, this way, they have choice and that often makes all the difference.
(9) I try hard NOT to nag them. I want them to learn how to selfdiscipline and self monitor, so nagging would just negate that. Instead, about once a week or so, I slip a "Hmmmm, the month is half over already" or "How's the homework coming?" comment. In the first month, they all turned their work in on time. Two were three days early and the third came in minutes before midnight. It will be interesting to see how that does/does not change this month.
(10) We are always available to help. If they are stuck, confused, frustrated or lost, all they have to do is come to us and we sit down and help. Last time I did this with my oldest son, we finished and he grinned at me and said, "With you helping me, I feel like I could learn anything!" That's a statement I am not likely to forget for a long time.
I still strongly feel that we are completely unschooling but I also know that they are learning some material that they really need and will use. Can I keep this up amidst the coming surgery, holidays and work load? I sure hope so. Will they continue to like it? I sure hope so.
Did this post explain my method clearly?
I sure hope so.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Cart!!
Remember the old game you could play in the car? If you spotted a VW Beetle, you'd say "Slug Bug!" and punch the person next to you. The person who saw it first got to do the punching. A sure fire hit with siblings in the back seat.
Of course, in Portland, one could get a broken arm if playing this too long. This city appears to be the mecca of VWs. We see--literally--at least a dozen types a day.
So, somehow, we have started a new tradition in our family.
Whenever we started spotting the occasional shopping cart sitting on the sidewalk, hiding in the bushes, toppled over in a driveway or filled with trash in an alley, one of us would shout, "CART!" It started off silly but it has grown over the last year. We have actually gotten quite creative. We have pondered, at length, mind you, about starting a business where we gathered all the carts we found in our trailer and then charged companies to return the missing carts to them. We figured we could make a pretty penny that way.
We have also gotten rather original in how we see the carts.
One perched half on the sidewalk and half on the street is a " cart living on the edge".
A cart pushed together with several others? A "cart orgy" of course.
A cart hidden back in the bushes? "Shy cart"
A cart toppled over on its side? "Downed cart!"
A cart of any color that isn't silver? "Minority cart!"
A row of carts? "Cart train"
Is it ridiculous? Yup.
Is it fun? You bet.
It's one of those strange things that we have developed as part of our family's traditions.
Someday, when our great-grandchildren ask why they play the "Cart Game", I hope someone is around who remembers--it started here.
Of course, in Portland, one could get a broken arm if playing this too long. This city appears to be the mecca of VWs. We see--literally--at least a dozen types a day.
So, somehow, we have started a new tradition in our family.
Whenever we started spotting the occasional shopping cart sitting on the sidewalk, hiding in the bushes, toppled over in a driveway or filled with trash in an alley, one of us would shout, "CART!" It started off silly but it has grown over the last year. We have actually gotten quite creative. We have pondered, at length, mind you, about starting a business where we gathered all the carts we found in our trailer and then charged companies to return the missing carts to them. We figured we could make a pretty penny that way.
We have also gotten rather original in how we see the carts.
One perched half on the sidewalk and half on the street is a " cart living on the edge".
A cart pushed together with several others? A "cart orgy" of course.
A cart hidden back in the bushes? "Shy cart"
A cart toppled over on its side? "Downed cart!"
A cart of any color that isn't silver? "Minority cart!"
A row of carts? "Cart train"
Is it ridiculous? Yup.
Is it fun? You bet.
It's one of those strange things that we have developed as part of our family's traditions.
Someday, when our great-grandchildren ask why they play the "Cart Game", I hope someone is around who remembers--it started here.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Ambivalence
Today is one of those days where I feel like I am being beseiged by so many emotions at once that it might be best to just go back to bed and start over again. It may be hormones, it may be the barometic pressure, it may be the severe lack of chocolate (and other forms of decadence, for that matter) in my life of late. I'm not sure (although i strongly suspect lack of sleep) but I think I know what a rollercoaster must feel like.
I'm happy. (picture that long uphill climb to the top of the first drop)
It's Friday.
I just finished that book on Iran and I can feel the relief pouring through me.
I have work to do this weekend but I don't feel completely overwhelmed by it. I will not be able to take much time off, mind you, but enough that I won't get resentful.
My kids are all home, happy and doing well.
The weather report is full of sunshine.
I went to a great play last night with Nicole ("Menopause: the Musical") and we had such a fabulous time.
I'm worried/stressed. (peaking at the top and front part of the car is just tipping down)
The editor on the Iran book has already emailed to say that since we were behind deadline, he'd have revisions back to me FAST. I hate, hate, hate revisions. (shudder)
The economy, which I generally try to ignore as part of my life philosophy, is actually intruding on my personal life. Not only have a seen a change in the writing markets--they are using staff more than they used to because who the hell wants to spend more than they have to these days--and my income has reflected that. People who are important to me may lose their jobs and my mom's house, which has been on the market since February, continues to sit there costing us money instead of creating a small but appreciated inheritance.
I'm tired. (whooooosh. . . . .down the slope . . . .)
I haven't slept too great of late. Two nights in a row was due to this stupid toe of mine. Last night it was because I was up until 4 am finishing the aforementioned book. I just don't recover from that like I used to . . . . Of course, this darn hyperparathyroidism doesn't help matters.
32 DAYS AND COUNTING to Operation (get it? operation?) Parathyroid!
A nap is definitely in today's plans. That will help with most of the complaints above in and of itself. I hope when I wake up, the rollercoaster ride is over, the car has come to a standstill, the crowds have gone home and all I have left is the glow of survival--and the pleasure of a quiet Friday night.
I'm happy. (picture that long uphill climb to the top of the first drop)
It's Friday.
I just finished that book on Iran and I can feel the relief pouring through me.
I have work to do this weekend but I don't feel completely overwhelmed by it. I will not be able to take much time off, mind you, but enough that I won't get resentful.
My kids are all home, happy and doing well.
The weather report is full of sunshine.
I went to a great play last night with Nicole ("Menopause: the Musical") and we had such a fabulous time.
I'm worried/stressed. (peaking at the top and front part of the car is just tipping down)
The editor on the Iran book has already emailed to say that since we were behind deadline, he'd have revisions back to me FAST. I hate, hate, hate revisions. (shudder)
The economy, which I generally try to ignore as part of my life philosophy, is actually intruding on my personal life. Not only have a seen a change in the writing markets--they are using staff more than they used to because who the hell wants to spend more than they have to these days--and my income has reflected that. People who are important to me may lose their jobs and my mom's house, which has been on the market since February, continues to sit there costing us money instead of creating a small but appreciated inheritance.
I'm tired. (whooooosh. . . . .down the slope . . . .)
I haven't slept too great of late. Two nights in a row was due to this stupid toe of mine. Last night it was because I was up until 4 am finishing the aforementioned book. I just don't recover from that like I used to . . . . Of course, this darn hyperparathyroidism doesn't help matters.
32 DAYS AND COUNTING to Operation (get it? operation?) Parathyroid!
A nap is definitely in today's plans. That will help with most of the complaints above in and of itself. I hope when I wake up, the rollercoaster ride is over, the car has come to a standstill, the crowds have gone home and all I have left is the glow of survival--and the pleasure of a quiet Friday night.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Some Pics to Share
Hey there. Since slowly more and more people are reading my blog, I wanted to update it with a few pics of our family. So, enjoy. If you stop by, leave a comment so I know you were here. The pictures are as follows:
(1) TOP LEFT: Joseph at the beach this summer. Ain't he a looker? I'm one lucky woman.
(2)TOP RIGHT: Coryn, our youngest, 12, at the beach.
(3) MIDDLE LEFT: Jasmine, our oldest, 24, looking like a beautiful sunset.
(4) MIDDLE RIGHT: Caspian (15) and Nicole (17) hanging out together because they actually enjoy each other's company.
(5) The family in the Avocado Crib, our adventure mobile
A Success
The writing workshop went really well, I am happy to report. Not everyone came that RSVP'd which is no surprise and to be honest, I am not sure the room we were in could have possibly fit another human being in it anyway.
Joseph was his usual sweet self, lugging boxes of books in and out for me, as well as going outside and entertaining a number of the kids who came to the workshop and strangely enough found me more than boring (grin). Nicole was my assistant, answering questions, handing out papers and books and making me proud as usual.
I haven't taught in a long, long time but this reminded me of how much I enjoyed it. Of course, it would have been a little more fun if I didn't have a sore toe while I stood up front for a couple of hours. I thought about sitting down but it just didn't feel right.
I'm glad I did this and I hope I get the chance to do it again for people living on the east side. Now I just have to spend the weekend doing what I was teaching--sitting down and researching a topic I don't want to write about--namely, Iran and nuclear weapons. It is SO not my topic that I am pulling myself through the research as if it was molasses on a chilly autumn morning. In 150 plus books, I have never struggled this hard to get motivated and get it done. However, I want to get my life as much in order as possible before the surgery date arrives. Between now and then, I have FIVE books to write. Yup, five. Fortunately, three are pretty short. The other two are medium length and once Iran is out of the way (such a depressing topic), it will be pretty smooth sailing.
Happy weekend to everyone. May you all have two Iran-free days. (grin)
Joseph was his usual sweet self, lugging boxes of books in and out for me, as well as going outside and entertaining a number of the kids who came to the workshop and strangely enough found me more than boring (grin). Nicole was my assistant, answering questions, handing out papers and books and making me proud as usual.
I haven't taught in a long, long time but this reminded me of how much I enjoyed it. Of course, it would have been a little more fun if I didn't have a sore toe while I stood up front for a couple of hours. I thought about sitting down but it just didn't feel right.
I'm glad I did this and I hope I get the chance to do it again for people living on the east side. Now I just have to spend the weekend doing what I was teaching--sitting down and researching a topic I don't want to write about--namely, Iran and nuclear weapons. It is SO not my topic that I am pulling myself through the research as if it was molasses on a chilly autumn morning. In 150 plus books, I have never struggled this hard to get motivated and get it done. However, I want to get my life as much in order as possible before the surgery date arrives. Between now and then, I have FIVE books to write. Yup, five. Fortunately, three are pretty short. The other two are medium length and once Iran is out of the way (such a depressing topic), it will be pretty smooth sailing.
Happy weekend to everyone. May you all have two Iran-free days. (grin)
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