Ambivalence

Today is one of those days where I feel like I am being beseiged by so many emotions at once that it might be best to just go back to bed and start over again. It may be hormones, it may be the barometic pressure, it may be the severe lack of chocolate (and other forms of decadence, for that matter) in my life of late. I'm not sure (although i strongly suspect lack of sleep) but I think I know what a rollercoaster must feel like.

I'm happy. (picture that long uphill climb to the top of the first drop)
It's Friday.
I just finished that book on Iran and I can feel the relief pouring through me.
I have work to do this weekend but I don't feel completely overwhelmed by it. I will not be able to take much time off, mind you, but enough that I won't get resentful.
My kids are all home, happy and doing well.
The weather report is full of sunshine.
I went to a great play last night with Nicole ("Menopause: the Musical") and we had such a fabulous time.

I'm worried/stressed. (peaking at the top and front part of the car is just tipping down)
The editor on the Iran book has already emailed to say that since we were behind deadline, he'd have revisions back to me FAST. I hate, hate, hate revisions. (shudder)
The economy, which I generally try to ignore as part of my life philosophy, is actually intruding on my personal life. Not only have a seen a change in the writing markets--they are using staff more than they used to because who the hell wants to spend more than they have to these days--and my income has reflected that. People who are important to me may lose their jobs and my mom's house, which has been on the market since February, continues to sit there costing us money instead of creating a small but appreciated inheritance.

I'm tired. (whooooosh. . . . .down the slope . . . .)
I haven't slept too great of late. Two nights in a row was due to this stupid toe of mine. Last night it was because I was up until 4 am finishing the aforementioned book. I just don't recover from that like I used to . . . . Of course, this darn hyperparathyroidism doesn't help matters.

32 DAYS AND COUNTING to Operation (get it? operation?) Parathyroid!

A nap is definitely in today's plans. That will help with most of the complaints above in and of itself. I hope when I wake up, the rollercoaster ride is over, the car has come to a standstill, the crowds have gone home and all I have left is the glow of survival--and the pleasure of a quiet Friday night.