Wednesday, September 10, 2008

A Question of Friends

I have found myself in a bit of a dilemma of late.

My hubby has been going to a VW group for the last year plus. He has gotten to know all the guys and they meet once a week at a local restaurant and even go on the occasional camper weekend. To date, I occasionally, and far less often, the kids, have gone with him. However, at the last meeting, several actions made it abundantly clear that I and the kids were really not welcome. A number of them went to another table and no one spoke to us except for one other wife (the only other woman, who, in my opinion, is just as ignored as I am) and one man, briefly. This weekend, Joseph was invited to go with them to a VERY, I repeat, VERY primitive campground. I honestly didn't want to go because while I can deal with outhouses, I would prefer not to have to resort to a shovel and a handy tree.
So, does the hubby go or not?
It has been a hard decision, but one I left up to him.
If you know us at all, you know and J and I are very, very close and spend most of our time together. I am TICKLED no end, however, that he has friends because he hasn't had any of his own friends for years. But I don't like that his friends ignore me and my kids and make it clear that we are not really welcome. If the meetings were once a month, no big deal. But four to five times a month? Hmmmmm. Plus, I helped him host a party for these people . . . . and even though it was my house, I still felt like I was in the way.
So, it has been a dilemma for me, because, to be honest, if I had friends who acted that way towards my spouse and kids, I wouldn't hang out with them much--if ever. Sigh.

Other news in the Orr household . .

NO, I don't have a surgery date yet. I am beginning to despair that it will ever happen.

We are actually doing a semi official homeschool curriculum for the first time in a LONG time. It's a once a month program that I created years ago with my oldest. It not only covers some basic information in all subjects but I involve lots of activities together, outside the house and so on. It also teaches some real important stuff about pacing yourself and time management. Now let's see if I can maintain it, expand on it and refrain from daily nagging.

That' s the latest for now. Work is picking up, so I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel again. Whew.


Ami said...

I think you should set a date in your mind, and if the people at hospital haven't gotten their shit together, go to a different place.

I'm so sorry this has gone on like that for so long. It's ridiculous.

As for the friend thing... I have no advice. The whole primitive campground thing is easy... let him go and wave bye bye as he does. And stay at home with your hot water, refrigerator, and hot and cold running modems. :)

Have you talked with him about all this and told him what you're thinking?

WritingGoddess said...

I am working on finding another hospital, ami, however, from what I can tell online, the only doctor in Portland who does what I need is at this one. Sigh.

Yup, I've talked to him and he is torn between going because he knows he'd enjoy it and staying because he doesn't like that we aren't included. Bottom line? He decided to stay home and I've decided to not go to any future meetings with him.