Friday, March 13, 2015

Life in Limbo Land

As the days count down to my doctor's appointment, my ability to be patient (never my strong suit in the first place) is wearing thinner and thinner. Sure, I am ready to get a plan of action. Sure, I need to know how I am going to deal with this ongoing pain. But most of all . . . .I don't know what to do about work.

In my career, offers for new jobs come in on a weekly basis. I work for more than 40 companies so it is rare for a full week to go by that someone doesn't contact me and say, Hey we are starting a new project and would love for you to be part of it. It starts here and goes until there. Believe me, I've had weeks where I get three or more offers like this. It is what has made a freelancing career work for the past 15 years, and usually I love it. I love changing projects and editors and focuses and processes.

But . . right now I honestly don't know what to say. I don't want to say sure, I will do this for you, and then find out oops, I'm having surgery in the middle of it and can't follow through. I also don't want to just say no, because that drops my name on the invisible list editors have on who to call for work. Selfishly, I also don't want to commit to something right now that I can already tell is going to be very stressful for me. I have enough stress 24/7 coping with pain and keeping up with the deadlines I already have in place---I don't need more!

So I find myself stuck in limbo land. If the doctor does recommend surgery, I will be unable to work for a minimum of two weeks, and as many as a four. I am working really hard right now to get every project I have done before that could possibly happen. But I just don't know what to do with these new offers.

Grrrr. I have never been a good waiter . . . and Wednesday seems like a world away right now. I just hope I walk out with SOME answer and not more of the bullshit I got from the last guy. At least if I could have a date, I could know at which point to stop accepting new work and put people on hold.

I never was good at limbo.

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